Non-Hockey friends, sanity check please!

[ladyjanelly]

Hockey is eating my brain. The competence-kink in this fandom is through the roof. I no longer have any idea if these guys are even vaguely attractive or if it's just how damn good they are at the thing they do. So help me please, non-hockey-fans. Look at these pics. Tell me if they are good to look at (I limited myself to 2 photos of each boy)
1)Tyler Seguin -- Cute enough to be a high-priced escort?

2) Jamie Benn

3)Brandon Bollig



4)Patrick Kane

Comments

[ladyjanelly]

Oh man. Tyler pings my gaydar so hard. Like "Look at you, sleeping in the V of that man's legs in the airport" and "Tyler! What did you just do with your hand?? What was that flippy thing?" There's a photo of him ON HIS KNEES, eyes closed and head tipped back while another man pours vodka from the bottle into his mouth. The entire hockey fandom agrees he looks like a 'straight' boy who does gay porn. If you see tags on porn like "#notTyler" or "#Segs does Dallas" or something similar, it's him they're talking about.

And Jamie, oooh. He's this huge, soft-spoken young man, and then with the flip of a switch he's pounding some dude's face in with his bare fist. Bambi-eyes to demon-in-a-meatsuit in two seconds flat. And that's if the other team is lucky and he doesn't just score on them a whole lot instead of hitting somebody.

I totally fetishized his horrible hair in the hooker!fic I'm writing. here it is without a hat: https://38.media.tumblr.com/2c01f046fb7fa4852cd8035bdf54cea4/tumblr_n1ycf5edOH1tnl7bno2_250.gif

[grackle]

Ooh that is some pretty hair.

[ladyjanelly]

For a while it was like that broad mohawk thing where the top and back are long and the sides shaved/short. And gel. So much gel. OMG.

[grackle]

He does seem to like the gel.

[ladyjanelly]

I'd guess that about 85% of North America's current consumption of hair gel is NHL players and hopeful NHL players.

(I may have written the line Jamie sighs, and waits. After a minute or so, Tyler starts petting his hair, breaking up the shell of gel and combing his fingers through it. ) It's only gross until you fetishize it?