FIC: Re-cast, ch 5/? rated R Jensen/Jared

[ladyjanelly]

Title: Re-cast (scar!verse) ch 5/?
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: PG
Characters: Jensen/Jared,
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men, AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.
Betaed by the lovely misskatieleigh Thanks so much for the concrit and hand-holding.
Feedback: honestly curious what people think of this. Love it, hate it, either way, I'd love to know why.

 

Jared leaves Jensen’s place in the dark hours of morning.   He wants to be there when Jen wakes up, to start the day in his arms, to watch the sunrise caress his skin and the palest blond strands of his hair. 

 

He’s got obligations though, two of them, sitting at home still waiting for their bedtime walk.  Harley might make it to morning and only chew up something to show his displeasure.  Sadie though, will have left a puddle somewhere and Jared can’t stand to see her ashamed, all tail-tucked and cowering like she expects him to beat her.

 

He hesitates at the other man’s front door, trying to figure out how to lock it from the outside.  There doesn’t seem to be a way, stupid apartment setup.  Jensen hadn’t worried about it when Jared said goodbye though.  It’s Vancouver instead of LA and Jen lives in a good neighborhood.

 

Jared gets home at four AM and takes the dogs out, almost falls asleep waiting for them to do their business.  The thought of getting naked and crawling into his empty bed has no appeal and he ends up sacked out on the couch in all his clothes.

 

He wakes up for the second time around ten, when a courier brings by a fat envelope of script revisions.  His back tries to cramp up, stiff and sore from sleeping twisted.  He takes a long hot shower to relax the muscles before he calls Jensen.  The man has psychic powers or something, always knows when Jared’s let his hard work go to waste. 

 

It turns out that he needn’t have bothered.  The call goes direct to voice mail and he leaves a quick “It’s Jared, just calling to see what you’re up to today.”  He restrains himself from saying something flirty—they didn’t really talk afterwards, and he doesn’t want to overstep himself. 

 

He leaves a second message at eleven and a third at eleven-thirty.  “Me again, just making sure you’re okay.”

 

Maybe he’s screwed up somewhere and Jen’s just mad and not taking his calls, but memories of Jensen’s unlocked front door are nagging at him.  Jensen’s an adult and it’s not like there’s been a rash of (or any) home invasions lately, but you never know.  Jared packs up the dogs and their toys into the cab of the truck.  If something’s happened, he needs to know.  If not, maybe they can go hang out together.  If he’s made an ass of himself with the phone calls and messages and all, he’ll apologize and fix it if he can.

 

He’s a block from Jen’s when his phone rings. 

 

“Are you stalking me?”  Jensen asks without even a hello, but his tone is light, maybe even pleased.

 

“Nah, just making sure everything was good with me leaving last night.”

 

“We’re good,” Jensen says.  Jared pulls to the curb outside the other man’s place and parks.  “What are you up to, today?  Want to grab lunch or something?”

 

“Sure,” says Jared.  He leans his head back against the seat’s rest, feels the flush slide up his cheeks.  “I’m at your place, you want to meet there?”

 

It’s totally fair that Jensen laughs at him; it doesn’t mean he has to like it.

 

“Fine.  I’ll meet you in a bit. Stalker.”

 

 

Jared’s got the dogs out on their leashes by the time Jensen’s jeep cruises up.  It’s only the second time they’ve met him, but their ears perk up and their tails wag.  Together they’re almost strong enough to drag Jared over.  It’s the direction he wants to go so he lets them win, just this once.

 

Jensen steps out of the vehicle and Jared puts the brakes on the dogs, because Jen’s dressed way too nice to be fending them off. 

 

Jensen drops into a crouch and opens his arms with a play-growl of “Puppies!”

 

Jared can’t hold them back anymore.  Sadie hits low, trying to nuzzle in under Jen’s elbow while Harley hits high, doing his best to lick the glasses off of Jensen’s face.  In seconds, there are scuffs on Jensen’s glossy black shoes and gold dog hair on his charcoal slacks and a huge dusty paw-print on the shoulder of his starched white shirt.

 

Jared has put a lot of effort into not classifying what he’s feeling for Jensen.  He’s been deliberately letting things run their course, not planning too far ahead. Looking down at how happy Jensen is to be mauled by Jared’s babies, he thinks it just might be love.

 

“Hey,” Jensen says as he smiles up at the taller man, “Just let me change and we can head out for food.”  He gives the dogs one last ruffle and stands up.  The distance between them seems much too wide to Jared.

 

“Want to come in?”

 

“Yeah.”  Jared takes up the slack in the leashes.  “Just let me--” he makes a gesture from the dogs to the truck. 

 

Jensen’s right eyebrow arches up as he gives Jared one of those Are you trying to be backwards? sort of looks. 

 

“Bring them in.  It’s not like they’re yard dogs.”

 

So Jared brings them along, standing by Jensen as he puts the key in the lock.  He follows through the cozy home to the kitchen, where Jen starts filling a bowl with water at the sink.  He knows he’s in Jensen’s personal space.  He can smell the soap and skin and a brand aftershave he hasn’t noticed before. 

 

Jared’s never been good at suppressing his curiosity.  The words “So what were you up to this morning?” are out of his mouth before he can wonder if he sounds like some controlling jerk of a boyfriend.

 

Unfortunately Jared’s distracted by the quick tongue-flick, teeth-scrape that Jensen gives his own lower lip, so much so that he almost misses when Jen says “Uh, church actually.” 

 

Jared blinks, his preconceptions hitting reality in a disjointed sort of way.  “Wait, what?”

 

Jensen puts the bowl down for the dogs.  “You know, pastor, choir, big cross up front?  Church.”

 

“Oh, yeah, um, that’s cool?”  Jared doesn’t manage to make it a statement.  He feels a spark of worry as he puts things together.  Jensen who doesn’t drink and hardly ever swears, Jensen who doesn’t let Jared suck his dick.

 

Jensen’s lips quirk but his smile is edged with a wariness that Jared hates to see. 

 

“You look like you’ve got questions.”  Jensen leans back, ass and hands against the kitchen counter.  If he’s strong enough to put himself out there, Jared feels like he owes him at least an honest response.

 

“That why you don’t drink?”  He asks, working up to what he’s afraid to know.  He can compete with a lot for someone’s affections but he’s not sure how he’ll do against the fear of God’s disapproval.

 

Jensen makes a little laugh-noise in his chest; his grin is wry and self deprecating. 

 

“I don’t drink because I have horrible judgment when I’m drunk.  I do things I don’t really feel with people who aren’t worth it, or I blow my chances at something good by rushing.”  He pauses for breath.  “It’s easier to fuck than it is to talk or to feel, and drinking makes it even easier.”

 

Jensen searches Jared’s face for understanding, and as much as Jared wouldn’t have minded more fucking, it makes him feel special that Jen’s worried about it. 

 

“Drinking alone is sad and stupid, and drinking around people is dangerous for me, so I just gave it up.”  He reaches out, almost uncertain, and takes Jared’s hand.  He rubs his thumb over the dry skin of Jared’s knuckles.

 

“Last night, with you, was the only time in my life I’ve been sober the first time I went to bed with somebody.”  He hesitates for a second, and then amends his statement. “Okay, the first time since high school, but yeah.” 

 

Jensen takes another deep breath and then presses on.  “I got a little overwhelmed but I’m glad for everything we did last night.  I have no regrets.” 

 

Jared can’t resist anymore; he reaches up to caress along Jen’s jaw, the soft skin below his ear.  Jensen leans into the touch and already Jared’s feeling relieved.  This can work, this can be okay.

 

“So I didn’t seduce you into a night of sin?”  He asks, and he’s only half teasing.

 

Jensen chuckles and shakes his head.  “It’s not that kind of church.”  There’s just a brief second where his smile twists to bitterness.  “My mom would probably say I’m doing more damage than good to my soul by choosing to listen to blasphemy, but yeah, it’s an inclusive kind of place, you know?”

 

Jared’s not exactly sure he does know, but he nods anyway as Jensen threads his fingers through the hair at the back of his neck and pulls him down so their lips brush in the most tender kiss.

 

“This isn’t casual sex to me,” Jensen whispers as he pulls back.  “I don’t think it is to you either.”

 

Jared’s hands wander like they’ve got their own agendas, sliding over the muscles of Jen’s back, pulling him closer.  He feels like he’s underwater, with the way everything is so slow and fluid.

 

“It’s not.”  They’re the two scariest words Jared’s ever said, even more than telling Sandy he loved her.  They mean so much that Jared’s not even sure he understands all that he’s saying.

 

The two men rest forehead to forehead for a moment; Jared’s careful not to smudge Jensen's glasses with his nose.  It’s so good to be close, to feel Jensen breathing in the circle of his arms.

 

Then there’s a bump and rattle from the living room and the moment’s over.  Jared fusses at Harley while Jen laughs that it was just a coffee cup and empty besides, can’t blame a dog for being curious.

 

Jared keeps the mutts out of trouble while Jensen changes into comfortable clothes.  Jensen suggests the take-out place by the park and drives Jared and his canines there in his jeep.

 

They eat and sprawl in the sun and play “soccer” with the dogs.  When Harley bites a slow leak into the ball, the game turns to tug-o-war.  Jared and the dog battle for supremacy while Jensen laughs at them from a blanket on the grass.  Sadie’s decided that a guarantee of getting her ears scratched is better than the slim chance she’ll get the ball, so she plasters herself to Jensen’s knee like a growth. 

 

The whole afternoon, Jared’s wishing there was more touching, but Jen doesn’t initiate any PDAs.  He wishes he was confident enough in himself and his career to start one of his own, but he keeps shying away from the risk.  He’s glad to be there, glad Jensen’s there, but he knows there could be more.  He wants it, and thinks maybe Jensen wants it too.

 

“Hey Jared?”  Jensen asks in the jeep on the way back.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“This morning when you asked if I was okay with you leaving and all?”  Jensen’s staring straight ahead out of the windshield, his hands steady on the wheel. 

 

Jared feels his stomach clench a little.

 

“Yeah?”  That broken-record thing just ain’t cool, but he can’t think of anything else to say.

 

“Just because I was okay with you leaving, doesn’t mean I wanted you to go.”

 

Jared laughs as big as Texas, and Sadie perks her ears at him. 

 

“Jensen, are you asking me to spend the night?”  He tries for shock, but it comes out teasing more than anything.

 

Jen smiles and glances over.  “Yeah.  I am.  We need to stop for dog food or something?”

 

This, being with Jensen, is so easy, it feels so natural. 

 

“Nah, they’ve got a bucket of dry in the truck for emergencies.”

 

“This counts as an emergency?” 

 

God Jared loves that smile.

 

“Oh yeah.”