FIC: Re-cast (scar!verse), ch 12/? rated R Jensen/Jared

[ladyjanelly]

Title: Re-cast (scar!verse) ch 12/?
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: PG
Characters: Jensen/Jared,
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men, AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.
Feedback: Is always appreciated-- praise, crit, all of it.

Thanks to backinblack for the beta--your work and encouragement is appreciated.


The final full week of shooting kicks Jared’s ass. Eric’s great, and it’s cool working with Jeff again, but the days are longer than ever. There are more stunts, more late nights, more rain-delays in the middle of the day.

Jared swears he wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for Jensen. He suspects the other man takes a nap between the time he gets off of work and when Jared gets home, so he can be there with take-out from one of Jared’s favorite places, a massage in the shower, and another one in bed to help Jared sleep. Jared never has to worry if the dogs are taken care of, if he has clean socks for the next day, if he’s going to drown in the bathtub.

He’s too grateful to make ‘little wife’ jokes, and he says ‘thank you’ until the words don’t mean enough, anymore.

By Saturday afternoon, shooting is done except for a few pick-up shots. Jared calls Jensen and they meet the guys at a little hole in the wall bar. It feels like a year’s gone by since his last day off, instead of a week. Jared introduces Jensen to the few people he hasn’t met yet--Jeff Morgan and Tiffany from makeup. The back booth of the bar is kind of dark; the music and loud conversations blur into white noise, and Jensen's so warm next to him, so solid.

He makes it halfway through his first beer and then he’s waking up with his head on Jensen's shoulder, no idea what people are talking about. Jensen smiles. “I wouldn’t let them draw a goatee on you.”

Eric J. laughs. “Gotta be love, man.”

Jared doesn’t remember much of the ride home, just Jensen helping him from the jeep to the front door like that first time, only now it’s Jensen's vehicle and Jensen's house, and Jared’s so ridiculously happy to be himself right then.

Jensen's bed is so nice and squishy. Jared’s sure he’s never taken the time to appreciate it before. Jensen teases him about being dead weight as he rolls Jared over onto his back and starts unlacing his boots. He strips the socks off of Jared’s feet, then moves up to unbuckle his belt, unbutton his pants, unzip the fly, and Jared’s got a growing appreciation of all those un-words.

“Help me out here,” Jensen urges as he tries to pull the pants down. Jared lifts his hips, and the combination of exhaustion and trust makes him want to be taken advantage of. Being like this, it’d be easier to give to Jensen, to relax and not think too much about how much it’s gonna hurt or how gross it’s gonna be.

“Fuck me,” he whispers, sprawling his knees open when Jensen's done with his jeans, “You should totally fuck me right now.”

Jensen makes a funny noise, halfway between a laugh and a groan. “Ask me that again when you’re awake,” he says.

“Naw,” says Jared, “’m sayin’ it now.”

Jensen strips and lays down beside him, warm and strong. He kisses at the corner of Jared’s jaw. “Mmmm,” he teases, “Because the semi-comatose look is sooo sexy on you.”

Jared snickers, feels sleep eroding away at his ability to debate this very important point. “Jus’ want you happy,” he slurs.

“I am,” Jensen answers, “More than I thought I’d ever be.”

Jared’s so sleepy, but so needy. He wants Jensen, wants to come before he sleeps, wants Jensen to come. He shifts, feels Jensen hard against his hip, knows he isn’t alone in desire. He guides Jensen's hand to his crotch, rocks his hips up against it. Not gonna take much, he thinks. Jensen moans and pushes in against him, and it’s not gonna take long for either of them.

Jared falls asleep as he orgasms, and as he loses consciousness, his last thought is to hope Jensen gets what he needs too.

----

Jared wakes up Sunday morning when Jensen's alarm goes off, groaning and trying to drag his sleep-ass self out of bed. It feels like his body is made of putty, except it’s way too heavy. Putty made out of lead, maybe. He wonders if that’s chemically possible, and then Jensen's running gentle fingers through his hair.

“Hey,” he says, so soft, and Jared stops struggling against the sheets. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you up when I get home.”

Jared doesn’t know if he says okay or not. The next thing he knows, he’s opening his eyes again and the room is brighter. The front door closes, and he hears Jensen greeting the dogs. He figures he must have slept through church, and Jensen’ll be in any second to change out of his good clothes and maybe join him, and he dozes off again with that pleasant thought filling his head.

It’s Jensen's voice that he wakes up for, fully awake this time. From the other room, Jared can hear his lover saying “He is family. He’s my family.” Jen's voice is full of distress, and Jared hates the sound of it. He’s only ever heard that pained tone when Jensen was talking about his family.

He’s not sure if he’s doing the right thing or not, but he can’t let Jensen deal with this alone, can’t let him hurt and not go to him. He rolls out of bed and heads for the living room. Jensen is pacing the length of the room, misery rolling off of his posture, his expression. His eyes meet Jared’s, and he reroutes his path, coming to a stop to lay his head against Jared’s chest while he listens to the phone.

“Mom….” He tries to break in, and Jared can hear the near-hysterical tone of the woman on the other end. “Mom!” And that doesn’t work; Jared thinks Jensen's mother is about to start crying on him. Jensen stops trying to interrupt for a moment, and when he speaks again he’s gentle. “Momma--nobody wants to embarrass you.”

Jared smirks against Jensen's hair, because he hasn’t met a Texas mother yet that doesn’t fall for the momma thing, or at least pretend to. For a second, Jared thinks it’ll all be okay, but then Jensen tenses again.

“He’s not making me choose, you are.” Jared holds tight around Jensen's shoulders. He never wanted this, never meant for Jensen to get in a fight with his parents over them.

“I hurt him, tellin’ him not to come,” Jensen says, and Jared feels a little like Sam Winchester, because he knows what’s coming next. He starts shaking his head, trying to get Jensen to look at him but he won’t.

“I love you, Momma,” Jensen says, “But I don’t want to go anywhere Jared’s not welcome.” His voice is a heartbeat away from breaking. “You and dad have a great anniversary.”

Jensen's shaking as he closes his phone, not even giving her a chance to protest. The dogs are beside themselves with worry, whining and nuzzling between them. Jared just holds on, apologies falling uselessly from his lips.

“I never meant to make you choose,” he says, and Jensen laughs, a harsh, mirthless sound.

“I know,” he says, “I know. That’s why I had to stand up for you--for us--like that.”

They stand there together, Jensen in his church clothes, Jared in his boxers, holding each other, until Jensen's relaxed again.

Finally, Jared nuzzles into Jensen's hair. “Ready to take the dogs down to the park?” Anything to distract him from this hurt.

“Yeah, let me change,” Jensen says, trying for normal. There’s a strain to his voice still, but Jared hopes he can ease it with the help of Sadie’s sweet nature and Harley’s goofy antics.

They get dressed and go to their usual Sunday place. Lunch is great and the dogs are silly. Jensen's smiling by the time they head home, sweaty and flecked with pieces of grass, but Jared can tell he’s still thinking about that phone call.

Jensen is in pain, and there’s nothing Jared wouldn’t do to fix it. He waits until they’re home, ‘til Jensen is undressed and halfway to the shower before he says “Crap, I forgot to check my e-mail; Kripke said he was gonna send me something.”

Jensen calls him a spoilsport and Jared promises to check him all over for dirty spots when he gets in. Jensen, of course, replies that he’d better shower extra-careful and extra-slow, which is just the way Jared wants it.

Alone in the living room, he ignores the computer and grabs Jensen's phone. He knows it’s wrong, and if there was any other way, he’d never violate his lover’s privacy. A couple of button clicks bring him the last number called, and he hits ‘talk.’

“Jensen?” the woman on the other end asks, picking up after a single ring.

“No,” Jared says, “Mrs. Ackles? This is Jared. I need to talk to you. Jensen doesn’t know I’m calling.”

“Oh,” she says, startled. “What are you--”

“Look,” Jared says, knowing he doesn’t have much time, “Look, I never meant for him to have to choose. This is tearing him apart.” He swallows his pride. “I have a plan. Tell him I can come. Tell him I can come, and I’ll buy the ticket, and I promise you I’ll have the three-day flu and not fly down to Texas until Monday, straight to San Antonio.”

He waits, heart pounding, waiting for her to answer. She has to say yes, has to, because it’s the only thing he could think of to keep Jensen from being hurt.

“His father and I talked this over already,” Mrs. Ackles says. He’s never seen her, but he can imagine her pursed lips, the frown between her brows. “You can’t embarrass us in front of our family and friends,” she warns, “And we don’t want to see or hear about any funny business, but if this--thing--between you means so much to him that he’d turn his back on his family, we’d rather have him bring you than not come at all.”

It feels like shit, like she just smeared dog crap on his favorite shirt. It’s the best he can hope for though, and he’ll take what he can get.

“Call him,” Jared says. “Wait like--an hour. Call him and tell him you changed your mind. Just--don’t say those rule things. I’ll take care of it. I promise.”

“Fine,” she says, and hangs up on him. He imagines Jensen dealing with this crap, and he’s glad he was the one to make the call.