ladyjanelly (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladyjanelly) wrote2008-04-12 02:46 pm
ladyjanelly) wrote2008-04-12 02:46 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: "In From the Cold" J2 AU rated-R Ch. 21/?
Family and the many meanings there of.
Thanks to Embroiderama for the beta and bunny.
===========
Davis paces and it breaks Mackenzie’s heart to watch it. He moves like a trapped animal. Stopping and turning and taking a few steps at random places in his back and forth path across the hotel room’s windows. He carries around his ratty backpack like he thinks one of them will steal it if it touches the floor.
“No waiting. No more.” He says and heads for the door with determined steps but Mom intercepts him.
“Jensen, if you leave Jared won’t know where to find you. He’s on his way, honey. Just wait. I know it’s hard.”
And Davis goes back to his pacing. Muttered words spill from his lips. A steady flow of random whispers and the occasional fully-spoken “Has to, he has to.”
Different expressions flicker over his face like a television with the remote in the hands of a bored teenager. Anger. Fear. Sorrow. She can barely stand to see it. She can’t understand how this Jared can be so important. Nobody has been important to Davis but his family. Ever.
Her Davis doesn’t even know how to show his hurt. He always has a strong face. A smile when friends stabbed him in the back. A joke when a job was handed to another architect. A week of focused working when his fiancé broke off their engagement. Mackenzie has never seen him like this. Broken.
Mom’s phone rings and she leaves to answer it in the other room. Mackenzie feels like she has to stay. To watch Davis and make sure he doesn’t leave or jump out the window or something. It scares her to not know him enough to guess how he’ll react in an unwatched moment.
When Mom comes back into the suite’s common area a frown creases her forehead. “Davis’ friend has been delayed,” she whispers and Mackenzie frowns too. What the hell could be more important than taking care of his so-called friend right now?
She wants to point this out but her mother’s already moved back to Davis’ side.
“Come sit down a little while,” Mom says and holds out her hand. He doesn’t take it but he nods and follows when she leads him back to the sofa.
“Jared’s coming,” she says and he doesn’t look much reassured. He looks down and starts picking at a stray thread on his jeans. “You care for him very much, don’t you?”
Mackenzie settles into the furthest chair. She wants to hear what Mom wants to hear but she doesn’t want to distract Davis at all.
“He cares me,” Davis says. “Of me. For me. I care him back.”
Donna smiles. A genuine smile and Mackenzie can’t get how she can be okay with this. Her son. Diminished.
“How long have you known him?” She rests her hand on his and he allows it. One more small step to coming back to his family. To them.
A frown flickers over Davis’ features and Mackenzie has never seen him so transparent. So open.
“Many days.” He pushes his hair back and shows a scar over his eyebrow. “This many days?”
Donna reaches out and brushes her thumb over the old hurt. “Who did this to you?” Her voice is almost a whisper.
“Rolled,” he replies. “Rolled fold mold. Jeff made them go. Jared made the hurt better. Was. I was hurt everywhere. I was cold everywhere and sore and dirty and all hungry. All cold.”
He shudders and Mom hugs him around his thin shoulders. He doesn’t fight her off but his face scrunches up in an expression of discomfort.
Mackenzie has never seen Davis hugged before. Somehow that and his words have made this all real. That he’s hurt. That he doesn’t know her and she has to reach to him like Mom is. Make the effort to connect with this stranger in her brother’s skin. At least until they get the tests and find out if he can be well again.
But hell if she knows how to do that.
They talk more. Mom and Davis. About his life. About the people he’s met and things he’s made. He talks about Jared helping him learn to read again and how he writes the names on the cans so he can take the labels off. How Jared lets him have all the forks and all the space except he can’t build on the stove or on the bed or on the couch.
Moment by moment Mackenzie can’t decide if she really hates Jared of if she’s unbearably grateful to him. It pisses her off if she’s honest with herself. She doesn’t really appreciate that he’s putting her in this spot. Stupid emotions.
It takes her a minute but she can see what Mom is doing to her. Showing her in Davis’ own new words how Jared has helped him. How Jared hasn’t tried to control him or manipulate him. How Jared gives in little gifts and big gestures. How Davis is both safe and independent in this life.
A phone rings--the room’s phone this time. Mackenzie answers it so Mom and Davis can stay together on the couch. The downstairs desk clerk asks if they’re expecting a Mr. Padalecki but then corrects herself, “A mister Jared.”
“Send him right up.”
She turns to her brother. Davis. Jensen. Whatever. “He’s on his way.” He draws himself up tight like he’s almost afraid to hope that it’s the truth. “He’ll be here any minute.”
And in a minute there’s a knock on the door and she opens it and Davis is at her side as Jared steps into the room. They embrace. Davis’ arms around Jared and Jared’s arms around Davis and it’s impossible to tell which of them is more relieved by the reunion. It all clicks into place as they stand and reassure each other. It’s true. It’s impossible but it’s true. She’s seeing love. They love each other. For real.
Shit.
===========
Jared has never seen Jensen so upset or so tense. It takes every reassurance he can come up with to get Jensen to accept moving with him to the couch. After his first rush of adrenaline has died down he can feel the energy gushing out of his pores. He feels shaky as Mrs. Carr introduces herself. “Donna,” he says, “I’m glad to meet you.” And since she hadn’t taken Jensen away while he was in jail it’s the honest truth.
“It is my pleasure,” she returns and holds tight to his hand. “I want to thank you so much for taking care of my son while he was away from us. To think that he had someone for even part of those dark months is a comfort to me.”
“He was different,” Jared says because he can’t honestly claim he’d have done the same for any patient he treated. “I knew it the first time I saw him.” He wants to say more. How he loves her son and will do anything in the world for him. Anything at all but that’s a sure way to get fired from his job for sexual misconduct and he’s too lightheaded to explain how they came together as a couple and how long it took and how careful he was to be sure this was something Jensen wanted and needed too.
“Home,” Jensen says. Just to Jared. “For you for sleep. And breakfast. I’ll make you eggs.”
Mrs. Carr. Donna. She has a hurt in her eyes and Jared can imagine how scary it must be to let her son leave so soon after finding him again. Jared knows he’s got no time at all left until being deprived of food and sleep makes him useless but he wants Jensen to have this. To have family. His own mom would say he has middle child syndrome but he really does just want everybody to get along.
“You stay,” he suggests and Jensen's head jerks like he’s been slapped. “I’ll just be asleep anyway. You can get to know your family more…” but Jensen's already shaking his head no.
“Yours. Your family. No more away.” His fingers clench in the cotton of Jared’s scrubs. “Please, Jared. Please.”
There aren’t many times in Jared’s life when he’s felt more like an ass and he holds Jensen close and promises him he’ll never go away for good. He’ll always come back.
“Jared?” He’d almost forgotten Jensen's family was there. “Why don’t you and Jensen spend the night here? Your home is in no shape for you to sleep there without cleaning it up. Mac and I will just get a nearby room when we’re ready for bed.”
“I’ll order us room-service,” Mackenzie offers. Something has changed in the way she looks at him. She seems gentler. Less like she’d be pleased to see him get hit by a bus.
The food smells delicious but Jared’s so hungry he doesn’t really taste it. Afterward he leans back into the sofa’s fluffy cushions and listens to Donna and sometimes Mackenzie talking to Jensen. Asking him questions and telling him about themselves. Neither of the women mentions before or Davis and Jared’s glad for that. Mackenzie won’t say “Jensen,” but she makes creative use of pronouns and that’s enough for now.
He’s not sure when he falls asleep but he wakes up stretched out on the couch with Jensen laid out against him.
“You are home to me,” Jensen whispers into the darkened room. “You are family. All my for-real family.”
Jared kisses him on top of his head and Jensen settles again and Jared won’t be sure later if either of them woke up at all.
----------
Jared’s drowsing. Caught between needed sleep and a restless sense of worry. Only Jensen's warm body keeps him on the couch instead of going back to the apartment to see how bad the mess is. He needs to do something constructive. Something to stop the cycle of “what if they take him away and what if he wants to leave and what if he’s gotten worse because I didn’t try to get him more help sooner?” that spins around in his head like the Tilt-a-Whirl at the county fair.
The soft rap on the door comes as a relief if only because it gives him a new Oh God what now? to worry about.
He untangles himself from Jensen. Rubs his back until he settles again and stops searching for Jared with his fingers. The knock on the door doesn’t repeat itself and he wonders if whoever it was gave up that easy.
He peeks through the eyehole and Donna Carr is standing there looking composed and regal at who-knows-what time in the morning. He rubs a hand over his face to wake himself up and opens the door.
“Mrs. Carr. Donna,” he corrects before she can. “What can I do for you?”
She smiles but her eyes seem sad. “I was wondering if I could have a talk with you while my children are both asleep? If it’s not an imposition.”
And yeah, of course he’d like to still be in bed but getting along with his maybe-possible future mother-in-law sort of takes precedence. “No, not at all.” He props the door open with his shoe and follows her barefoot down the hall. They stop at the settee by the elevators.
Donna takes a moment to gather her thoughts and Jared folds his hands together to stop himself from fidgeting like a first-grader caught writing dirty words on the board.
“I’ve never seen my son in love before,” she says soft and wistful. “Although I have seen him try very hard to be.” And Jared feels a pang of sadness for Davis.
She stares at her hands for another moment and Jared isn’t sure if he should say something.
“I can see that you love him too,” she says without raising her head. “You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t love him. He needs that. Even. Even before. He needed something more than Mackenzie and I could give him.”
She brushes an angry hand over her eyes before the fall of tears can shame her. She squares her shoulders and looks him in the face.
“I found things in his condo. Before I called the police. Prescription drugs. From different doctors. Different pharmacies.” Color rises in her cheeks but she seems determined to go on. “Pornography.” Her lips quirk but it isn’t a smile. “The kind without women in it.”
She takes a slow breath. Lets it out. “And other things. Hurtful things. Things no mother wants to think of her son using or allowing someone to use on him.”
And the thought of that. Jensen so gentle and sensitive using drugs and rough sex to fill some unknown hole in his heart. Jared has a hard time picturing it but the glimpses his imagination provides him with twist his stomach.
“Why are you telling me this?” he asks and his voice fails him. His words are whispers in the quiet of the hotel hallway.
“I need a promise from you,” Donna says. “No one can swear their love forever. But I want you to promise to try.” Her eyes are hard like stone. “I want you to promise me and him that you’ll try to keep loving him forever. No matter what happens. Do you understand?”
Jared swallows but his throat is too dry. “I’ve promised him,” Jared says. “For as long as he wants me. And I’m promising you. As lover or friend or whatever. I’ll be there for him as long as he needs me. I love him.”
“Thank you,” she says and it sounds so sincere. “And now I have a second favor to ask.”
Jared doesn’t sigh but he wants to. Here it comes.
“I want to take Davis home for these tests. To his usual doctor and the places he knew. I want him to see his old home. In case something comes back to him. I would like for you to come with him. He loves you. He needs you.”
Jared hears her out. To the last word.
“You need to ask Jensen if he wants to go.” He wills her to understand. “If he does, I’ll do my best to come with him but this is his decision.”
“I see,” she says but he can tell that she doesn’t. Not quite.
“Look,” says Jared. “He makes his own mind up about what he wants. If I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t be in a relationship with him. I couldn’t be.”
That takes her aback and color rises on her cheeks. “Of course. Of course. But you’ll come with him if he agrees to go, won’t you? I don’t want him to have to choose.”
Jared sighs. “I’ll try. I’ve got to go back to work and there’s rent due and I’m not sure how--“
“We can take care of all that,” Donna cuts in. “You cared for my son when nobody else would. There is no way I can repay you for that.”
Jared shifts in his seat. Pride wars with his need to provide for his lover. “That wasn’t a request for money. I never--this was never about money.”
“I’m sorry,” Donna says. “I didn’t mean to insult you. Please.”
He can see how afraid she is. Of losing her son. Of forcing a contest she isn’t sure she can win.
“I’ll think about it,” he says, moving to his feet. “If Jensen wants to go I’ll figure out a way to go with him.”
“I’m glad we had this talk,” she says, even though Jared doesn’t think she got everything she wanted. “Thank you again. For taking care of my son.”
Jared finds a polite smile to give to her. “Taking care of Jensen was the best decision I’ve ever made.”
He turns then and walks back to the room with the propped-open door. To his beautiful Jensen asleep on the couch. He fights the urge to grab Jensen and just run. To go home or all the way back to Texas. He wonders if Mrs. Carr is feeling the same thing. If she’ll decide she’s what’s best for Jensen and turn her money and lawyers to the task of separating them.
Jared doesn’t mean to wake Jensen but the couch shifts as he lies down again and Jensen's eyelashes flutter open.
“Jared?” he whispers and Jared runs his fingers through the soft strands of his hair.
“Shhh, just me,” Jared whispers back.
“I want home.”
Jared takes a second to process that. To make sure he isn’t hearing what he wants to hear.
“Now?”
Jensen nods against him and holds tight to Jared’s shirt and fuck it. Enough is enough. Jared wants to play nice but not at this price. Not if it means Jensen scared and stressed and unhappy.
“Okay,” says Jared. “Okay, we’ll go home now.”
They put on their shoes and gather up the few possessions they brought and together they walk out the front doors of the hotel in the pre-dawn hours of the morning.
Thanks to Embroiderama for the beta and bunny.
===========
Davis paces and it breaks Mackenzie’s heart to watch it. He moves like a trapped animal. Stopping and turning and taking a few steps at random places in his back and forth path across the hotel room’s windows. He carries around his ratty backpack like he thinks one of them will steal it if it touches the floor.
“No waiting. No more.” He says and heads for the door with determined steps but Mom intercepts him.
“Jensen, if you leave Jared won’t know where to find you. He’s on his way, honey. Just wait. I know it’s hard.”
And Davis goes back to his pacing. Muttered words spill from his lips. A steady flow of random whispers and the occasional fully-spoken “Has to, he has to.”
Different expressions flicker over his face like a television with the remote in the hands of a bored teenager. Anger. Fear. Sorrow. She can barely stand to see it. She can’t understand how this Jared can be so important. Nobody has been important to Davis but his family. Ever.
Her Davis doesn’t even know how to show his hurt. He always has a strong face. A smile when friends stabbed him in the back. A joke when a job was handed to another architect. A week of focused working when his fiancé broke off their engagement. Mackenzie has never seen him like this. Broken.
Mom’s phone rings and she leaves to answer it in the other room. Mackenzie feels like she has to stay. To watch Davis and make sure he doesn’t leave or jump out the window or something. It scares her to not know him enough to guess how he’ll react in an unwatched moment.
When Mom comes back into the suite’s common area a frown creases her forehead. “Davis’ friend has been delayed,” she whispers and Mackenzie frowns too. What the hell could be more important than taking care of his so-called friend right now?
She wants to point this out but her mother’s already moved back to Davis’ side.
“Come sit down a little while,” Mom says and holds out her hand. He doesn’t take it but he nods and follows when she leads him back to the sofa.
“Jared’s coming,” she says and he doesn’t look much reassured. He looks down and starts picking at a stray thread on his jeans. “You care for him very much, don’t you?”
Mackenzie settles into the furthest chair. She wants to hear what Mom wants to hear but she doesn’t want to distract Davis at all.
“He cares me,” Davis says. “Of me. For me. I care him back.”
Donna smiles. A genuine smile and Mackenzie can’t get how she can be okay with this. Her son. Diminished.
“How long have you known him?” She rests her hand on his and he allows it. One more small step to coming back to his family. To them.
A frown flickers over Davis’ features and Mackenzie has never seen him so transparent. So open.
“Many days.” He pushes his hair back and shows a scar over his eyebrow. “This many days?”
Donna reaches out and brushes her thumb over the old hurt. “Who did this to you?” Her voice is almost a whisper.
“Rolled,” he replies. “Rolled fold mold. Jeff made them go. Jared made the hurt better. Was. I was hurt everywhere. I was cold everywhere and sore and dirty and all hungry. All cold.”
He shudders and Mom hugs him around his thin shoulders. He doesn’t fight her off but his face scrunches up in an expression of discomfort.
Mackenzie has never seen Davis hugged before. Somehow that and his words have made this all real. That he’s hurt. That he doesn’t know her and she has to reach to him like Mom is. Make the effort to connect with this stranger in her brother’s skin. At least until they get the tests and find out if he can be well again.
But hell if she knows how to do that.
They talk more. Mom and Davis. About his life. About the people he’s met and things he’s made. He talks about Jared helping him learn to read again and how he writes the names on the cans so he can take the labels off. How Jared lets him have all the forks and all the space except he can’t build on the stove or on the bed or on the couch.
Moment by moment Mackenzie can’t decide if she really hates Jared of if she’s unbearably grateful to him. It pisses her off if she’s honest with herself. She doesn’t really appreciate that he’s putting her in this spot. Stupid emotions.
It takes her a minute but she can see what Mom is doing to her. Showing her in Davis’ own new words how Jared has helped him. How Jared hasn’t tried to control him or manipulate him. How Jared gives in little gifts and big gestures. How Davis is both safe and independent in this life.
A phone rings--the room’s phone this time. Mackenzie answers it so Mom and Davis can stay together on the couch. The downstairs desk clerk asks if they’re expecting a Mr. Padalecki but then corrects herself, “A mister Jared.”
“Send him right up.”
She turns to her brother. Davis. Jensen. Whatever. “He’s on his way.” He draws himself up tight like he’s almost afraid to hope that it’s the truth. “He’ll be here any minute.”
And in a minute there’s a knock on the door and she opens it and Davis is at her side as Jared steps into the room. They embrace. Davis’ arms around Jared and Jared’s arms around Davis and it’s impossible to tell which of them is more relieved by the reunion. It all clicks into place as they stand and reassure each other. It’s true. It’s impossible but it’s true. She’s seeing love. They love each other. For real.
Shit.
===========
Jared has never seen Jensen so upset or so tense. It takes every reassurance he can come up with to get Jensen to accept moving with him to the couch. After his first rush of adrenaline has died down he can feel the energy gushing out of his pores. He feels shaky as Mrs. Carr introduces herself. “Donna,” he says, “I’m glad to meet you.” And since she hadn’t taken Jensen away while he was in jail it’s the honest truth.
“It is my pleasure,” she returns and holds tight to his hand. “I want to thank you so much for taking care of my son while he was away from us. To think that he had someone for even part of those dark months is a comfort to me.”
“He was different,” Jared says because he can’t honestly claim he’d have done the same for any patient he treated. “I knew it the first time I saw him.” He wants to say more. How he loves her son and will do anything in the world for him. Anything at all but that’s a sure way to get fired from his job for sexual misconduct and he’s too lightheaded to explain how they came together as a couple and how long it took and how careful he was to be sure this was something Jensen wanted and needed too.
“Home,” Jensen says. Just to Jared. “For you for sleep. And breakfast. I’ll make you eggs.”
Mrs. Carr. Donna. She has a hurt in her eyes and Jared can imagine how scary it must be to let her son leave so soon after finding him again. Jared knows he’s got no time at all left until being deprived of food and sleep makes him useless but he wants Jensen to have this. To have family. His own mom would say he has middle child syndrome but he really does just want everybody to get along.
“You stay,” he suggests and Jensen's head jerks like he’s been slapped. “I’ll just be asleep anyway. You can get to know your family more…” but Jensen's already shaking his head no.
“Yours. Your family. No more away.” His fingers clench in the cotton of Jared’s scrubs. “Please, Jared. Please.”
There aren’t many times in Jared’s life when he’s felt more like an ass and he holds Jensen close and promises him he’ll never go away for good. He’ll always come back.
“Jared?” He’d almost forgotten Jensen's family was there. “Why don’t you and Jensen spend the night here? Your home is in no shape for you to sleep there without cleaning it up. Mac and I will just get a nearby room when we’re ready for bed.”
“I’ll order us room-service,” Mackenzie offers. Something has changed in the way she looks at him. She seems gentler. Less like she’d be pleased to see him get hit by a bus.
The food smells delicious but Jared’s so hungry he doesn’t really taste it. Afterward he leans back into the sofa’s fluffy cushions and listens to Donna and sometimes Mackenzie talking to Jensen. Asking him questions and telling him about themselves. Neither of the women mentions before or Davis and Jared’s glad for that. Mackenzie won’t say “Jensen,” but she makes creative use of pronouns and that’s enough for now.
He’s not sure when he falls asleep but he wakes up stretched out on the couch with Jensen laid out against him.
“You are home to me,” Jensen whispers into the darkened room. “You are family. All my for-real family.”
Jared kisses him on top of his head and Jensen settles again and Jared won’t be sure later if either of them woke up at all.
----------
Jared’s drowsing. Caught between needed sleep and a restless sense of worry. Only Jensen's warm body keeps him on the couch instead of going back to the apartment to see how bad the mess is. He needs to do something constructive. Something to stop the cycle of “what if they take him away and what if he wants to leave and what if he’s gotten worse because I didn’t try to get him more help sooner?” that spins around in his head like the Tilt-a-Whirl at the county fair.
The soft rap on the door comes as a relief if only because it gives him a new Oh God what now? to worry about.
He untangles himself from Jensen. Rubs his back until he settles again and stops searching for Jared with his fingers. The knock on the door doesn’t repeat itself and he wonders if whoever it was gave up that easy.
He peeks through the eyehole and Donna Carr is standing there looking composed and regal at who-knows-what time in the morning. He rubs a hand over his face to wake himself up and opens the door.
“Mrs. Carr. Donna,” he corrects before she can. “What can I do for you?”
She smiles but her eyes seem sad. “I was wondering if I could have a talk with you while my children are both asleep? If it’s not an imposition.”
And yeah, of course he’d like to still be in bed but getting along with his maybe-possible future mother-in-law sort of takes precedence. “No, not at all.” He props the door open with his shoe and follows her barefoot down the hall. They stop at the settee by the elevators.
Donna takes a moment to gather her thoughts and Jared folds his hands together to stop himself from fidgeting like a first-grader caught writing dirty words on the board.
“I’ve never seen my son in love before,” she says soft and wistful. “Although I have seen him try very hard to be.” And Jared feels a pang of sadness for Davis.
She stares at her hands for another moment and Jared isn’t sure if he should say something.
“I can see that you love him too,” she says without raising her head. “You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t love him. He needs that. Even. Even before. He needed something more than Mackenzie and I could give him.”
She brushes an angry hand over her eyes before the fall of tears can shame her. She squares her shoulders and looks him in the face.
“I found things in his condo. Before I called the police. Prescription drugs. From different doctors. Different pharmacies.” Color rises in her cheeks but she seems determined to go on. “Pornography.” Her lips quirk but it isn’t a smile. “The kind without women in it.”
She takes a slow breath. Lets it out. “And other things. Hurtful things. Things no mother wants to think of her son using or allowing someone to use on him.”
And the thought of that. Jensen so gentle and sensitive using drugs and rough sex to fill some unknown hole in his heart. Jared has a hard time picturing it but the glimpses his imagination provides him with twist his stomach.
“Why are you telling me this?” he asks and his voice fails him. His words are whispers in the quiet of the hotel hallway.
“I need a promise from you,” Donna says. “No one can swear their love forever. But I want you to promise to try.” Her eyes are hard like stone. “I want you to promise me and him that you’ll try to keep loving him forever. No matter what happens. Do you understand?”
Jared swallows but his throat is too dry. “I’ve promised him,” Jared says. “For as long as he wants me. And I’m promising you. As lover or friend or whatever. I’ll be there for him as long as he needs me. I love him.”
“Thank you,” she says and it sounds so sincere. “And now I have a second favor to ask.”
Jared doesn’t sigh but he wants to. Here it comes.
“I want to take Davis home for these tests. To his usual doctor and the places he knew. I want him to see his old home. In case something comes back to him. I would like for you to come with him. He loves you. He needs you.”
Jared hears her out. To the last word.
“You need to ask Jensen if he wants to go.” He wills her to understand. “If he does, I’ll do my best to come with him but this is his decision.”
“I see,” she says but he can tell that she doesn’t. Not quite.
“Look,” says Jared. “He makes his own mind up about what he wants. If I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t be in a relationship with him. I couldn’t be.”
That takes her aback and color rises on her cheeks. “Of course. Of course. But you’ll come with him if he agrees to go, won’t you? I don’t want him to have to choose.”
Jared sighs. “I’ll try. I’ve got to go back to work and there’s rent due and I’m not sure how--“
“We can take care of all that,” Donna cuts in. “You cared for my son when nobody else would. There is no way I can repay you for that.”
Jared shifts in his seat. Pride wars with his need to provide for his lover. “That wasn’t a request for money. I never--this was never about money.”
“I’m sorry,” Donna says. “I didn’t mean to insult you. Please.”
He can see how afraid she is. Of losing her son. Of forcing a contest she isn’t sure she can win.
“I’ll think about it,” he says, moving to his feet. “If Jensen wants to go I’ll figure out a way to go with him.”
“I’m glad we had this talk,” she says, even though Jared doesn’t think she got everything she wanted. “Thank you again. For taking care of my son.”
Jared finds a polite smile to give to her. “Taking care of Jensen was the best decision I’ve ever made.”
He turns then and walks back to the room with the propped-open door. To his beautiful Jensen asleep on the couch. He fights the urge to grab Jensen and just run. To go home or all the way back to Texas. He wonders if Mrs. Carr is feeling the same thing. If she’ll decide she’s what’s best for Jensen and turn her money and lawyers to the task of separating them.
Jared doesn’t mean to wake Jensen but the couch shifts as he lies down again and Jensen's eyelashes flutter open.
“Jared?” he whispers and Jared runs his fingers through the soft strands of his hair.
“Shhh, just me,” Jared whispers back.
“I want home.”
Jared takes a second to process that. To make sure he isn’t hearing what he wants to hear.
“Now?”
Jensen nods against him and holds tight to Jared’s shirt and fuck it. Enough is enough. Jared wants to play nice but not at this price. Not if it means Jensen scared and stressed and unhappy.
“Okay,” says Jared. “Okay, we’ll go home now.”
They put on their shoes and gather up the few possessions they brought and together they walk out the front doors of the hotel in the pre-dawn hours of the morning.
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