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ladyjanelly) wrote2007-05-12 10:52 am
FIC: Re-cast (scar!verse), ch 8/? rated NC-17 Jensen/Jared
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: R
Characters: Jensen/Jared,
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men, AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.
Betaed by the lovely embroideramaThanks so much for the super-speedy beta.
Feedback: Is always appreciated-- praise, crit, all of it.
CHAPTER 8
Four weeks into the relationship, Jared had sorta given up on the idea of ever getting a blowjob again for as long as he and Jensen were together, which he hoped would be the rest of his life. It wasn’t that he didn’t want blowjobs. Jensen had seemed so touchy about even accepting one at first and had never made any move to give one, so Jared figured they were off-limits.
When Jensen strips Jared out of his suit and lays him down on the bed, it’s nothing startling. When Jensen covers Jared’s body with his own sharp-dressed form, Jared’s trying to figure out how to come without getting it everywhere when the friction from rubbing up against each other gets to be too much.
When Jensen's fierce kisses turn to a string of licks and nips and sharp sucks down the center of Jared’s torso, he starts to think that hey, maybe this is something new. It’s new, and it just happens to coincide with the first time Jensen's drank around him, and the first time he’s bought a stupidly expensive dinner. He doesn’t want to say no. In fact, there’s little he wants to say less.
Still, he can’t let this be for the wrong reasons, couldn’t live with himself if he took advantage. “Jen,” he manages to gasp out, “Jen, you don’t have to--” He bucks up at the first long lick from base to tip. The connection from his voice to his brain shorts out and he can’t speak to save his life.
It’s not the first blowjob Jared’s had in his life, not even close. That boy in high school blew him, and girls he’d dated over the years. Five seconds in, he comes to the conclusion that Jensen knows things. Like magical things to do with his tongue and his hand, things nobody’s ever done to Jared before.
There’s the thing where his lips are so tight at the very tip of Jared’s dick, and so slick that they slide over it anyway. There’s the thing where his tongue circles the head while his fingers stroke the full length of his shaft, or his hand twists around the base, back and forth, while his head bobs up and down.
He’s not sure what the heck Jen's doing when he looks up, so intense that Jared can barely stand to look at him. Jensen sucks his own two middle fingers into his mouth, and just the sight is almost enough to push Jared over the edge.
The show doesn’t last long; Jensen freakin’ swallows him again, pushing down so low and smooth that Jared’s sure he’s gonna choke himself. Jared doesn’t wonder about that finger thing again, not until he’s right on the edge, right there, and this wet-slick-cold sensation makes a little circle against the pucker of his ass. He’s coming and jerking away from Jensen's finger at the same time; it’s too much, too weird, all his nerves connected in ways he never knew about.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he hears himself saying as he scrambles back towards the head of the bed.
“Hey,” Jen murmurs, making a calming gesture with his hands. His lips are glossy with spit. His eyes are wide, and he looks about as startled as Jared feels.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen says, still standing back like he’s not sure if Jared wants him close. God, that just makes Jared feel fourteen kinds of stupid, because he knows Jensen wouldn’t hurt him for the world.
“No.” Jared tries to pull himself together. “No, don’t be sorry, it’s okay. Just--dude, that’s my ass.”
Jensen's lips twitch. “You’ve never--like, anything?”
Jared shudders in revulsion. “No. God, no. It’s--” he struggles for the words, “Filthy.”
“Ah,” says Jensen, like he gets it, and heads to the bathroom. Jared listens to him wash his hands and brush his teeth.
Shit, Jared thinks, maybe I don’t deserve blowjobs. Calling his boyfriend filthy isn’t much of a thank you. It occurs to him that Jensen knowing things means Jensen's done things, stuff Jared hasn’t tried, stuff Jensen might not be willing to live without.
Pulling himself together, Jared climbs out of the bed and wraps a sheet around his waist. He follows his lover to the sink. The door’s open and he takes that as a good sign. He’s not being completely shut out, at least. Jensen's eyes meet his in the mirror; his voice is soft and his smile sad as he says “Hey. Jared, I’m--” He cuts himself off, but Jared guesses there is probably another apology there.
Jared shuffles forward and hides his face against the back of Jensen's neck, pressing his nose in above the edge of the suit’s collar. His hands slide around Jensen's waist, holding him close. “Don’t be. I just--I wasn’t expecting that. I--yeah. Never did that before.”
Jensen laces his fingers through Jared’s, making sure he can’t pull away. “I should have asked,” he says, “I just--I thought you were holding back for me.”
Jared hugs Jensen tighter. “Yeah, maybe a little. I just didn’t expect you to up the ante like that.” He has to chuckle. “I uh, I’m sorry I freaked.”
He can hear the grin in Jensen's voice. “I’m sorry I poked you in the ass without any warning.”
Jensen twists in his arms and Jared ducks his head to press gentle kisses to the lush curves of Jensen's lips.
“Are we good?” Jared asks as he pulls back.
Jensen grins, the scar pulling crooked at his smile. “You owe me some dry-cleaning, but yeah.”
They break apart, and Jensen changes into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Jared puts on some pants, and they let the dogs out of the laundry room. HBO is showing a movie that neither of them has seen. They spend the evening stretched out on Jensen's comfy couch until the exhaustion of the work week catches up to Jared. And okay, maybe it has some help from the wine too.
Jared still wakes up first in the morning, tangled up with Jensen, the weight of one of the dogs on his feet. He manages to wriggle free without waking his lover. The dogs are quiet as they shadow him around the apartment, hoping for breakfast. He pulls on his sweats and track shoes, leaves a note for Jensen in case he wakes up to an empty home.
“You guys wanna go for a run?” he whispers as he gets the leashes. Tails wag in happy agreement. He pockets his cell and slips out.
The early morning air is crisp, almost cold, and Jared puts in a few easy blocks before he starts to feel warm. Running feels good, lets him clear his mind, put things in order. Not being able to go out to someplace nice with Jensen, like he would have been able to with
He stops at an outdoor café, orders a coffee and sits down with the dogs on the patio. He opens his phone and thumbs through the numbers. Eight a.m. in
“Momma,” he says, his voice all bright eagerness, when his mother answers.
“Jared, honey, what’s wrong?” Only that voice could make him feel like he’s ten again.
“Nothing’s wrong, momma, why would you say that?”
“Jared Tristan Padalecki. You have never called me momma unless you thought you were in trouble or you needed something, so spit it out, so we can figure out which it is.”
Jared grins, knowing it’ll be there in his tone, even if she can’t see it. “It’s nothing like that, nothing bad.” His voice drops a little. “I’m seeing somebody, and it might get into some gossip column, and I thought you should hear it from me.”
“Oh.” Clearly that hadn’t been a scenario she was expecting. Her voice brightens hopefully. “Oh, somebody famous?”
Jared laughs. “Nah, nobody you’d brag about your son dating in the teacher’s lounge.” Saying the words sobers him up, because he realizes this isn’t just about him, that it’s going to affect his family and friends, change every relationship he has in some way.
“His name’s Jensen, momma,” he says, too low for anybody but his mother and the dogs to hear him. “He’s so good to me, I think I’m dreaming sometimes.”
God, it hits him hard, saying the words for the first time to somebody besides Jensen. It becomes so real, so powerful that it nearly takes the breath from him.
“Oh, Jared,” his mother says, like she doesn’t know to be happy or sad. “I thought after Alexis and Sandy that you’d--” She cuts herself off of that line of thought. “This is just going to make things so much harder for you, baby. We just want what’s best for you.”
“I know,” Jared replies, trying to be soothing instead of defensive, “I know what this can mean, but it’s worth it. He’s worth it.”
Jared smiles; this is why he loves his family. “His name is Jensen, and he’s smart and funny, has a great career of his own…”
By the time he hangs up, Jared decides he’s gotten off light. He’s agreed to talk to Jensen about coming down to meet the family but nobody’s ordering them plane tickets yet. His mother’s agreed to talk to the rest of the family, let them know that thing in high school wasn’t a phase he grew out of. He doesn’t expect anybody to take it too hard, but she’ll call him if they do so he can talk to them himself.
Jared figures since he’s already got his nerve up, he should probably make some more calls, especially to the people who’ll be affected if it gets out that the “good” boy is dating a man.
Kripke isn’t happy, but he doesn’t hit the roof either. “You’re not --you know, making an announcement or anything, are you? The show’s on the butcher’s block for next season, and so many people will have to look for new work if we don’t get renewed…”
From anybody else, Jared would take that as an attempt at manipulation, but from Eric, he knows the man worries about every single person on their crew like they were family.
“We’re not planning on it,” Jared assures him, “But I’m not keeping this relationship hidden behind the shed. We’ll be discreet, but I can’t promise we’ll never get busted.”
“Okay,” says Kripke, “You better let your agent know, too, just in case.”
Eric J.’s response is as warm as Kripke’s was cool.
“It’s about time, you big jerk,” he laughs, “We’d been wondering why you guys bailed on our Saturday nights out.”
“Yeah,” Jared laughs, feeling better already, “It was just so new, y’know?”
“Does this mean you’ll deign to hang out with us again?”
“Sure,” and it feels good to get this stuff out in the open, at least a little bit.
“Not this Saturday but next? Before we all split for hiatus, definitely.”
They make plans and Jared goes back to Jensen's. The scent of cinnamon greets him at the door. French toast in a covered pan waits on the stove; a sticky plate in the sink indicates that Jensen's already eaten his.
The laptop’s open on the breakfast bar, and Jared’s proud of himself for not jostling it out of screen-saver mode to catch a glimpse of his lover’s e-mails. He knows he has a stalking-problem; he’s working on it. Really.
Jared’s spreading the butter when Jensen comes out of the bedroom, hair damp and dressed in jeans and a navy button-down shirt.
“Hey,” he says, that warm smile that Jared loves on his lips. “That was some run.” He ruffles Jared’s not-sweaty hair on his way to the fridge. It’s an un-subtle way to say, “I know you weren’t jogging that whole time,” but it does let Jared choose to not talk about it if that’s what he wants.
“I got as far as Sir Perks-a-Lot on the corner,” Jared admits, “I stopped to make some calls.”
Jensen sits down across from him, a cup of coffee in hand.
“Yeah?” He manages to come across as only slightly guarded.
“Yeah,” says Jared, trying to be strong and serious. “Last night, you were right about dinner. That place is too famous for us right now, but the thing is--” Jared takes a deep breath, steeling himself for looking stupid, “I know I can’t do all the public stuff with you that I’d like, but I don’t want this, us, to be some dirty little secret.”
Jen's voice is gentle as he asks, “So what are you sayin’?”
Jared refuses to have doubts. “I--I figured we’d do like we have been, keeping it low-key in public.” He glances up at Jensen from under his bangs, “But it might get out somehow, and I don’t want my momma finding out in the tabloids.”
“Jesus,” breathes Jensen, “And she took it okay?” It’s like he can’t even fathom the idea.
“She’s my mom,” Jared says. Something flickers behind Jensen's eyes . “She just wants me to be happy.”
Whatever it is, Jared doesn’t want Jensen thinking unhappy thoughts. “I told the Erics too,” he puts in as a distraction. “Kripke was cautiously optimistic, and Eric J. says this means we can’t hide all weekend anymore.”
Their hands meet over the bar, and Jared figures maybe this is kind of new for Jensen, being acknowledged. He hopes it’s a good thing.
“So we just keep going like we were but with more disclosure?”
And Jared’s not quite ready to spring the rest on him, meeting the parents and that other thing he’s planning. He grins and leans forward. Jensen meets him half-way and Jared tries to put everything he feels into the kiss, all of his love and lust and protectiveness and pride.
Blowing Jensen up against the fridge door seems like a great idea, but Harley won’t stop sniffing his ear and Sadie’s so confused that she paces and whines the whole time. Jensen starts laughing and that’s not real helpful either.
They’re a mess, giggling and manhandling each other down the hall. Jensen ends up on top when they hit the bed, and Jared lets himself be mauled, Jensen nuzzling and nipping and licking down his torso. His mouth, his mouth is amazing. He doesn’t try to put his finger up Jared’s ass this time, and Jared? He kind of wonders what it would have been like without the surprise factor and all.
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