ladyjanelly

Title: Re-cast ch 3/?
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: R
Characters: Jensen/Jared, Eric Johnson (that boy who played Whit on Smallville)
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men (or at least thinking about it). AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.

Previous chapters here: http://ladyjanelly.livejournal.com/tag/scar%21verse

Jared wakes up at two in the afternoon on Saturday, hungover and, looking back, incredibly grateful. He’s never been ‘that guy,’ never cheated on anybody, ever. And as much as part of him had wanted a little instant gratification the night before, he would be hating himself if Jensen had let him follow through. Maybe, eventually, he’d have started hating Jensen too.

There’s nothing he needs to get done, nothing he feels like doing and nobody he can call to do it with. He spends what’s left of the day in the park down the road, throwing the Frisbee for the dogs and getting a little sunshine.

He turns in early that night, but doesn’t fall asleep easily. He’s thinking about his life, Sandy and Jensen, where he is, where he wants to be.

The problem is that at one time things had been really good with Sandy. They’d felt close. He’d been happy. He owes it to himself as much as her to be sure they’ve done everything within reason to make it work before they break it off. He waits until after noon on Sunday before he calls her. He listens to her excitement about the party she’d been to the night before and doesn’t ask who she went with. They try to make plans but the next four weekends are already scheduled out for one or both of them. Jared finally says just never mind.

He can hear it in her voice; she knows as well as he does that it’s not working, the distance is killing whatever they may have had together. Neither one can turn out the lights and lock the door though. He says “I miss you,” just before he puts down the phone and he means it.

On Monday morning, there’s a message from Jensen on Jared’s voice mail saying “If you want a different therapist, I’ll understand. This is for you, and you need to do whatever’s most comfortable for you.”

Jared doesn’t call and ask for a replacement. When Jensen shows up at three, Jared says “Hey, you know you don’t have to do this either, if it makes you uncomfortable.” Jensen smiles that slow Texas smile and tells Jared that if he didn’t want to be here, he wouldn’t be.

Just like that, Jared has a second chance. It’s like they never kissed, never almost-fucked. Jared’s determined to not screw it up, to keep Jensen's friendship even if it never becomes anything else.

He wants them to spend time together, but doesn’t want Jensen to feel like Jared’s trying to get into his pants again so soon. He invites Jen out for another “beer with the guys” night and they take separate cars there and Jared’s careful to not get so drunk he can’t drive himself home. Jensen doesn’t drink at all.

There’s a little part of Jared that’s homesick for Texas, has been since his first day shooting Gilmore Girls. He just doesn’t really pay it any attention until Jen comes into his life. Something about the hint of a drawl in his voice makes Jared feel less alone in the great white north. It’s the first time in years he’s had somebody around to compare Houston teams to Dallas teams. They bitch about the weather, and how it’s impossible to get Mexican food that tastes right in freakin’ Canada. Jensen says the country music stations play watered-down Nashville crap, not real Texas country. Jared misses the taste of Shiner beer and bemoans how difficult it is to even get a Corona and lime.

He tries not to imagine how Jensen would look back home, how the Texas sun would warm his skin, how his dark gold hair would look against all that sky. He doesn’t let himself dwell on the thought of licking salt and lime off of Jensen’s lower lip.

For all that he’s sure he’s falling in love with Jensen, he feels like he makes a real effort with Sandy, calling her as often as he can, listening to her talk about her successes and struggles. Maybe it just makes the distance more obvious to her. She calls one day and says “Jared, I’m really sorry but I can’t do this anymore.” He’s not surprised, but expecting it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

He doesn’t talk about the breakup with Jensen, but he’s pretty sure the other man knows. He allows himself a few days self-pity before he realizes the relationship has been dead for a long time, that the last phone call was just closure.

Between Jen’s massages and the work he puts Jared through in the gym, his back gets better and their sessions are down to once a week. Jared struggles to find ways for them to spend time together without it being a date. He throws a cookout at his place one weekend and reminds Eric to invite Jensen when he’s throwing the get-together the next. His friends tease him when he plans a poker night, saying he’d better have good snacks to repay them for chaperoning for the evening. If only they knew how right they were.

Jensen accepts every invitation, which has to be a good sign. Still, Jared worries that these things he’s feeling are one-sided, that Jen’s decided they’ll be just friends forever. Then one week he’s run ragged by the filming schedule and shooting some promo spots and an interview with some morning show in New York. The day of his therapy appointment arrives and Jared’s got nothing to offer. He figures it’ll be another whole week before he sees Jensen again.

“Hey, you have plans for Saturday?” Jensen asks as he’s helping Jared stretch.

Even though Friday’s scheduled to be a sixteen hour shoot with a lot of stunts, and even now, lying on his back for a few minutes just feels good, Jared doesn’t even think of saying “Sleep.” Instead he says “Not yet, I don’t. Why?”

Jen pushes Jared’s left knee up to his chest, slow enough that his healing muscles don’t protest. Soft strands of hair fall in front of those eyes Jared gets lost in, plush lips quirk into Jensen’s strange flickering smile. “Remember how we were talking about tex-mex sucking in Canada? I got my mom to send me some of her fajita spices. If you’re interested in coming over for dinner.”

Jared tries not to grin too wide, tries to not make too big of a deal out of it, but it seems to him that Jensen doesn’t want to wait another seven days to see him either and that feels like cause for celebration. “Yeah, I’d love to. What time are people showing up?”

He feels a little flutter as color creeps up Jensen’s jaw, flaring dark across the damaged skin of his scar. Jared tries to not get his hopes up, prepares to keep the smile on when it turns out to not be what he thinks it is. “Just you and me, if you’re still interested,” Jensen says. Their eyes meet and Jared feels like he’s glowing, and how could Jensen possibly not see that?

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” he says, with that bit of twang in his voice that always gets a smile. It's not the way the saying goes, but Jensen grins, and that makes everything okay.