glances back at the two younger men and reaches for the handle.
One quibble here and it's not huge - but more than just the assurance of not letting someone he's not sure of fuck Jared there's the whole not leaving Jared alone tied up and high on endorphins with someone he's not sure of. That's pretty implicit but there's a lot of transfer of safety happening here and Jeff's putting a whole lot of trust in Jensen. If you're going to spell it out in the dialog I'd probably spell the whole thing out so the focus isn't all on the sex.
Jared whimpers again, eager and needy. Jensen thwaps his ass because, dude. Workin’ on it, okay?
This made me giggle a little too. I like that it's essentially bondage and a smack to this point. Jensen's new to this! I like that he's trying but not jumping right to something that could hurt Jared. It's good!
Jensen does it for him; it just feels right.
This is the part where I like the instinctive. He's doing things because they feel right and they are right. What's more it's a nice sign that Jensen's keyed into Jared.
“What?” Jared says, and Jensen can already see him pulling himself back together, trying to retake control of himself and his responsibilities. He couldn’t say why, but it feels too soon, like painting over rust or something.
“Are you calling safe-word to getting on the couch?” Jensen asks, slow and careful. He watches Jared surrender again, relax and just let himself be taken care of.
Really like this bit a lot. I like the emotional connect as much as I like what's happening. It's a beautiful slow transition and I like that it happened *after* sex instead of before or during. It takes a layer of potential desperation away - what's motivating them isn't the urge to get off, it's not a game. It's just them.
4
Date: 2007-03-13 01:48 am (UTC)One quibble here and it's not huge - but more than just the assurance of not letting someone he's not sure of fuck Jared there's the whole not leaving Jared alone tied up and high on endorphins with someone he's not sure of. That's pretty implicit but there's a lot of transfer of safety happening here and Jeff's putting a whole lot of trust in Jensen. If you're going to spell it out in the dialog I'd probably spell the whole thing out so the focus isn't all on the sex.
Jared whimpers again, eager and needy. Jensen thwaps his ass because, dude. Workin’ on it, okay?
This made me giggle a little too. I like that it's essentially bondage and a smack to this point. Jensen's new to this! I like that he's trying but not jumping right to something that could hurt Jared. It's good!
Jensen does it for him; it just feels right.
This is the part where I like the instinctive. He's doing things because they feel right and they are right. What's more it's a nice sign that Jensen's keyed into Jared.
“What?” Jared says, and Jensen can already see him pulling himself back together, trying to retake control of himself and his responsibilities. He couldn’t say why, but it feels too soon, like painting over rust or something.
“Are you calling safe-word to getting on the couch?” Jensen asks, slow and careful. He watches Jared surrender again, relax and just let himself be taken care of.
Really like this bit a lot. I like the emotional connect as much as I like what's happening. It's a beautiful slow transition and I like that it happened *after* sex instead of before or during. It takes a layer of potential desperation away - what's motivating them isn't the urge to get off, it's not a game. It's just them.