Mercy II

[ladyjanelly]

Warning: Depressing as all fuck. No, seriously. Death and hurt and shit like that. Rated R. BDS. Experimental.  unbeta-ed.  Profanity (in the warnings.  Does that even work?)

Feel free to pick it the hell apart.

God-damned thing turned into a multi-parter on me.

 

Mercy, Part II

The wind is cool. The sun is warm, shining down upon him. It makes a broad red glow behind his eyelids, but is not so bright that he wants to turn his head from it.

The ground is soft beneath his back, and he has a sense of green and growing things.

In the distance he can hear the song of a lark.

Something is tickling across his lips. The teasing is forcing him to wake, forcing him to become aware of himself and the world.

He's not breathing, and that realization hits him like a shot and he coughs and struggles for air. A hand presses him back against the softness of the grass, and Connor's face shadows his own.

"Easy now, Murphy." His brother's voice is so calm that it is impossible to be afraid. He breathes and stares up at Connor.

He can't remember when his brother's face was so relaxed and peaceful. He knows it happened, just not the "when" of it. The line of worry that lingers between his brows is gone. There is no tension in the shape of his lips or the set of his shoulders.

The white of Connor's t-shirt almost glows in the sunlight and he knows he can't remember Connor in a white t-shirt.

He blinks. He shouldn’t. The world twists around him, inside of him and everything becomes dark. He's holding Connor instead of the other way around and his brother is dying in his arms. A pitiful candle lights the ugly cell. He watches each struggling breath, and it hurts more to see Connor's pain than to live his own broken bones and festering wounds.

"Murph..." The word is a rasp, forced through a throat torn raw with screaming. There is more blood than air and he can see Connor fight against the threatening cough.

Murphy leans close, feels his own tears hot on his feverish cheeks, sees them fall, glitter, splash down on bruised skin. "I'm here," he whispers, because he's not sure that Connor can see him.

"I'm afraid..." The cost of those words is high, and Connor's face twists in agony.

"Shhh," Murph whispers back. "I'll be comin' right behind. Ya won't be alone for long. I swear to Christ."

He touches the least-hurt part of Connor's cheek that he can find. He uses the back of his hand. His fingers are too broken for such a task.

Connor nods, the slightest movement of his head, but Murphy knows he understands.

It doesn’t take much pressure. A little more than the weight of Murphy's arm and his brother's chest cannot refill with breath.

There is no struggle. Murphy can feel the moment when his brother's soul is gathered into the arms of God and he's left alone with only a corpse for comfort.

He knows it won't be long before the fever or hunger or the brutality of their captors sends him back to Connor. He is depending upon it.

TBC

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Bravo! I love death characters..brings the brother bond into it..great work janell! I got one more idea...and you'd be the perfect one to write this..
First connor found murphy lies on the floor, bleeding everywhere. He looks painful.(Put some connor anger here). And since murphy is dying with pain, he wants connor to be the one who finish him off. And as hard as it is for connor, he will do it for murphy.(dont forget the last kiss for murphy on his forehead,each of cheeks, and last, his bruised lips). Remember murphy has to close his eyes and smiled, ready for connor. And Bang!
And connor takes his revenge, and kill himself. Well, I leave it to you for the creativity. Please, please make the story out of this idea..i'm so bad with words..I only have the main concept. Please write this idea for me? (just dont tell anyone who you got this from. I'm just a little bluebird whispering to you)..delete this message after u get it...

[juggernaut-diva.livejournal.com]

*applause combined w/ teary eyes*

It was wonderful...it captivated me just like the first one. I was so caught up in the action that I'm actually crying as I speak. You definitely have a way with words.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the ideas, but I have the parts of this already planned out. Maybe next fic, or if you'd like, I could help you write yours. I"d be happy to beta-read it for you and offer suggestions before you put it out for public consumption.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you again.

What did you think of the first part of this "chapter" (yeah, i know it's much too small to be called that)

The part before Murphy blinks-- Is it good? weird? over-done? just stupid? Does it flow right into the after-blink part?

[(Anonymous)]

You are the chosen one. So you'll be writing it. You are my favorite. If you don't write it, I'd be very sad :(

[goodtwin.livejournal.com]

Is this separate to the other piece? Is it purgatory? I like it, I especially like the line "I'm afraid..." The cost of those words is high, and Connor's face twists in agony. The surreal feel to it's good, though it leaves me a little confused.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Is it purgatory?

Something like it. I dont know if I'll give it a name, where they are that there's no fighting or dying, but it is a place "between." Heaven but not quite?

I sort of started this just to experiment with some emotions in the writing that I didnt want to touch in Look After Your Brother, but I am really liking some of what came out, and I want to get it cohesive enough to post on the bds_fic group.

This is a continuation of the first part. I thought it was done. They were dead, it should stop there, right? But no, the idea wasnt done with me yet and those damn hooks in my brain fucken hurt if I don't give the urge to write its way.

Ah well. If you had to guess, where would you think the part where they died in the dark took place? (century and continent is close enough). Just trying to see what impressions people get from it.

[4bdnsn0wflake.livejournal.com]

After reading this a few times, I've got a lot of questions and more than a little confusion, so I'll attempt to describe to you my thought process as I tried to take this in.

At the beginning, I thought this was going to be an after-death fic because of the idealized sensations Murphy was experiencing.

I'm not sure what the significance of the lark is, but I'm assuming there is a greater one? Otherwise it seems sort of odd to make a point of mentioning it.

I was also confused about Murphy picturing Connor in a t-shirt, because I thought this was set in the distant past, and I'm not sure they had t-shirts then, or that what I'm picturing when you say "t-shirt" is what you mean me to picture.

Then things change, and the brothers are still in the cell, so I was thinking that this piece takes place before the previous fic, and Murphy was previously in a mental fantasy place, or hovering near-death, some place where he could bear the injuries and pain he had.

I can picture their injuries very graphically. I don't think it's over-done or anything, but it is difficult to read because of the vividness.

I like that this shows the other end of Murphy and Connor's bond, that Murphy can just as easily be the one caring for and comforting Connor as the other way around.

I was not entirely sure what happened when Connor died. Did Murphy kill him, thus having that act be the "mercy" the title refers to? Or did they just agree that Connor was going to stop trying to live, and then he passed on?

And now that Connor has died here, I'm really confused as to how this relates to the first part. Or are they unrelated stories as far as a linear time line goes, and simply variations on the "mercy" theme?

I think I need to have some more information and some things clarified to me before I can give more feedback on this.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Yes, the ideal-world parts of the story are after-death, but take place after more than one death.

I'll look at the lark again...maybe cut it. Was just looking for a pastoral detail.

The white t-shirt is really a white t-shirt. Hanes, if he looked at the tag.

It looks like i need to clarify in the fic that the cell they're in is not anywhere near the Carribean nor is it of that day and age.

re:Connor's death--They decide together to end it and Murphy does the deed.

They are a line of memories linked by a what's happening in the "present".

[4bdnsn0wflake.livejournal.com]

Hmm...so...but the first part did happen in the distant past, yes?

And now as they're dying they're having these flashes to different eras and things that may or may not have happened?

Or is it to suggest that they've been reincarnated many, many times, and each time it is their lot to live lives of violence and killing for God?

Whoa. Dunno if my brain will be able to get wrapped all the way around this before all the parts are finished.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Yes, part one (the hanging) was 1700something, part two (the cell) 1800something, part three (snow) was 1900something. Part four will be the boys from the movies. The white-t-shirt-connor and stuck-in-memories Murphy are the boys from part four.

they've been reincarnated many, many times, and each time it is their lot to live lives of violence and killing for God?

Exactly.

[4bdnsn0wflake.livejournal.com]

part one (the hanging) was 1700something, part two (the cell) 1800something, part three (snow) was 1900something. Part four will be the boys from the movies.

^ I do think you need to work on making it more clear/obvious what eras the chapters are taking place in.


Exactly.

^ WHOOT! Do I win the Internets? ;p

[rieloflorien.livejournal.com]

Goodtwin, your icons will kill me some day!
This is just gorgeous!

I think you are one of these people who sees beauty in hidden places...