Look After Your Brother Ch 14

[ladyjanelly]

Author:  LadyJanelly

Rating: R this chapter, definitely higher for others

Pairing: Connor/Murphy eventually

Warnings: (for this chapter) profanity, adult situations

Disclaimer:  I own no irish boys.  All writing done for my own amusement and that of my non-paying audience.

Feedback:  Gives me a reason to write and post these things instead of just playing with them in my head.

As always, a big thank-you to 4bdnsn0wflake for her wonderful feedback and encouragement.

Chapters 1-13 are archived on my livejournal.

A/N:  If my Latin is wrong, please tell me and I'll change it.

A/N 2:  I would like to officially announce that this fic is past the "100-fuck" mark.

 

The rain falling from the night sky was piss-warm compared to the cooler air, and not making Connor's task any easier.

"Fuck, Murph, one foot in front a th' other now, eh?"

Murphy's booted feet moved, but he was so plastered that the effort was no help at all.

Connor supposed that Murphy could make this harder if he tried, but he couldn’t quite picture how. He stopped for a moment to pull the near-boneless arm further across his shoulders, and to get a better grip on his brother's waist.

God's truth, if Murphy hadn’t had to stop and puke twice already on their walk home, Connor would have been tempted to throw him over his shoulder and just carry the drunk fuck the rest of the way. He was beginning to think taking Murphy out drinking to get over the end of his three-week relationship with Marc may not have been the brightest idea he'd had in his life.

Murphy's head rolled back and he grinned a debauched-angel smile up at Connor. "Y'always do, Conn. Y'always do take care a me," he slurred, as if answering a question. His blue eyes were almost closed against the steady fall of rain. Water slicked his hair against the edges of his face and sparkled on his eyelashes like crystals or diamonds or something else too fine for a man of Connor's ilk to ever own.

Damp cotton slid up Murph's torso as he stumbled again and Connor had to catch his dead weight. Cool, soft, slick with rain and sweat, the Murphy-skin glided under his palm.

It felt so good he thought his heart would stop. It felt so good he knew he'd burn in hell.

Murphy groaned his name.

"Jaysus," Connor breathed, "Murph, you're enough t' test the strength of a saint."

Murphy laughed. "'m sorry, Conn. Di'n' mean ta." He didn’t look sorry. He looked triumphant.

So close. So tempting. So fucken drunk.

A shadow passed behind Murph's eyes and Connor had just enough time to lean him forward before he doubled over and started to vomit again. By that time there was nothing left but bile and the dry heaves. Connor held his head anyways, and kept him from falling into the gutter.

"Is that better, then?" He asked when Murphy had stopped. His free hand rubbed slow soothing circles between the sharp planes of his brother's shoulder-blades.

"Aye." Murphy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand but didn’t look up. "I love ya, Conn. I mean it, man."

Connor's lip curled at the pain of having what he most wanted, there in front of him, but untouchable. "I know ya do, Murph."

They didn’t speak again as they staggered the rest of the way home.

Not a word was said as Connor helped Murphy out of his soaked clothes and into dry boxers.

A glass of water and three aspirin were offered and taken in silence.

With tender care he rolled Murphy onto his side to sleep. He wouldn’t let his brother drown in the night, as drunk as he was.

Connor was moving away to change his own clothes when Murphy's hand reached out, catching his wrist.

"Don' go, Conn. Don' leave me."

He had to listen to catch the words.

"It'll be fine, Murph. I'll be right there in my bed like I always am." He brushed the fingers of his free hand over the still-damp hair.

Murphy pressed the knuckles of the captured hand against his lips like he was kissing the Pope's ring. "Stay here. I'll make room an' not snore a bit. Stay with me. Promise you'll stay with me." He was holding onto consciousness by the weakest little thread. He couldn’t even keep his eyes open as he begged.

Connor never could stand to withhold anything from his twin. "I promise, Murph. I'll stay 'til mornin'. Just let me change first, aye?"

"Aye," Murphy agreed and let Connor's fingers slip from his.

He stretched out there on Murphy's bed, watched the blue eyes close. As if driven by urges of their own, his fingers stretched out towards the thin, decade-old writing their mother had tattooed on the fair skin. His breathing quickened. He didn’t allow himself to touch. The letters were a single-prick thick, and had been too shallow in places to last through the years. Without remembering them blood-fresh, he would not have been able to read what the ink said. The importance of those words would never fade.

"Virtus Fraternitate."

Strength from brotherhood

.

For hours he stared at the tattoo, his fingers tracing the same mark on his own chest.

The whole night through, Connor lay awake at his brother's side, watching him breathe. A yearning that he could not allow to be fulfilled ached in his heart and didn’t let him sleep.

He stayed until dawn, as promised, then dragged himself to the room's other bed to find his own dream-plagued rest.

He woke to the sound of the shower and the smell of coffee. The clock said 3:18 and it was light outside the bedroom window. He closed his eyes and rested for a bit, but there was too much happening in his head for him to sleep again. Memories of the night before were mingling with the dreams he'd had and the fantasies he'd repressed for so long.

He sighed and stretched, trying to ignore the feel of the sheet through his underwear.

Murphy cleared his throat and Connor realized the shower had stopped minutes ago. He startled and sat up, lifting one knee to stop making a damn tent.

"Wha'?" He asked, surprised himself at how irritated he was to see Murph standing there in a bathrobe and looking none the worse for wear after his binge, while Connor was tired and sore from carrying his drunken brother across half the fucken city then staying up to make sure he lived through the night.

A worried look flickered across Murphy's fine features. "Conn, last night...Did I...I mean... Look. If I was a right bastard to ya, then I'm sorry."

Connor shook his head. "Not a bastard, but a fucken chore to be carin' for, I'll tell ya. You were fucken legless. Yer never t'get that drunk again, Murph."

"Not on purpose, I can promise ya that."

"Fancy some breakfast?"

That earned him a crooked Murphy-grin. "Aye, if yer cookin'."

Connor groaned and threw the nearest thing, the bottle of aspirin, at Murph's head.

Of course he missed.

Comments

[dejectedmadness.livejournal.com]

I just read all of these and they are sooooo good. I love this story. So I am definitely looking forward to more!

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Come on in, pull up a stool. Fancy a pint? A course ya do.

Glad you found this fic. Thanks for letting me know you're enjoying it. Any strong positive impressions or concrit?

-J.

[dejectedmadness.livejournal.com]

How about I read them all again and comment on each of them? I was planning to read them again anyway.

[dejectedmadness.livejournal.com]

"Jaysus," Connor breathed, "Murph, you're enough t' test the strength of a saint."

That was a cheap pun and you know I loved it!

Yeah, this was too short. You need to write more immediately. I can't wait to read more of this. I love this story.

You better believe I will be here reading for every new post you make.

Very nicely done. I hope the feedback helps.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

You're crazy, you know that? (In a good way, of course). I'm eating your reviews and concrit like cheerios. Mmmm, tasty feedback.

Really, I shouldnt talk to people at 7am.


That was a cheap pun and you know I loved it!

Dude, I couldnt resist that. I wrote it and then laughed and stared and couldnt think of a better thing to put down so I left it.

It's not a pun it's um....foreshadowing. Yeah, foreshadowing.

[yakkorat.livejournal.com]

This has been absolutely superb! Please tell me you haven't abandoned the project! It's such a wonderful story! And I am positively aching for the truth to come out so that Murphy can have what he so obviously DESPERATELY wants and is so bravely trying to synthisize for his brother's sake, not realizing that Connor doesn't freaking want to be protected from his affections...

Lovely, darling. Simply lovely. Please say there is more to come.

Love,
Julie-Rae

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Oh, there's more, I just never got around to putting it in memories. Just keep paging through the entries. Sorry about that. My bad.

Glad you're enjoying it so far. The story is done and posted to chapter 20, and I'm working on 21 now. It has not been abandoned, I promise.

Out of curiosity, how did you find me? I always wonder, when I see a new face.

Anyway, thanks for commenting. I love to hear the good and the bad, so if there's anything constructive you have to add, please don't hesitate.

-J.

[yakkorat-fics.livejournal.com]

At least you always put the fic title in your subject. That means that as long as I go through the calendar it shouldn't be a hardship to track the rest of the chapters down.

As for how I found you, someone on the BDS fic community asked for recs for good h/c, and since A) I'm extremely busy and don't have time to go trawling for fics, and B) h/c is my number 1 fic choice and almost exclusively what I read, I always pay attention to recs. I actually run a yahoogroup specifically for recommending darkfic to one another (and since I like h/c, my recs almost always have happy endings). Anyway, you were recced at least twice in the comments, and I knew I had to see what you had to offer. As an editor myself, I am notoriously difficult to please, and you met all my hopes and exceeded my expectations. Bravo, love.

And I will go search for the rest of the chapters now. :)

Love,
Julie-Rae

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Oh, and since I see you read Jack/Will h/c, just thought I'd pimp this old thing.

http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=2176605

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2176605/1/

a link that works.