ladyjanelly | FIC: Re-cast, ch 2/? rated R Jensen/Jared

Title: Re-cast ch 2/?
Author: Ladyjanelly
Rating: R
Characters: Jensen/Jared, Eric Johnson (that boy who played Whit on Smallville)
Summary: Jensen stopped acting in 2000. He still runs into Jared.
Warning: Men sexing men (or at least thinking about it). AU.
Disclaimer: Never happened, not my boys.

The next time Jensen comes to work on Jared’s back, Jared is more suave, he’s sure of it. He starts slow, asking questions, showing interest in Jensen's life with the usual “So how’d you end up in freakin’ Canada?”

And it would be suave, except that he really cares about the answers, especially the vague pronouns when Jensen says “I was dating someone and they got a role on a show that was filming here. I thought it was real so I moved for the sake of the relationship.”

“So you aren’t together anymore?” So okay, that sounded a little more hopeful than it should have, but Jensen doesn’t seem to notice.

“Not for a while now.”

He wants to ask about the scar, but can’t think of a polite way to bring it up without saying how much it turns him on. Which isn’t really polite either, the second time you’ve ever seen somebody. He wants to ask if Jensen’s seeing somebody but can’t find the nerve to hear that he is. He wants to ask if Jensen would like a blowjob, but that’s so far out of the realm of polite that he can’t even figure out a chain of comments or questions that would make that almost alright.

And about that time Jensen's talented fingers are working their magic and Jared feels the threads of consciousness slipping away from him and before he knows it, he’s wasted another hour he could have spent talking to Jensen by sleeping through it. The time is just gone and he has to put on his Sam-clothes again and go try to create chemistry with Eric when he would really rather be with Jensen somewhere, anywhere else.

The work day is long and his shoulders are aching with his character’s tension by the time he got home. He’s just saying hi to Sadie and Harley when his cell rings. Sandy’s name is on the caller ID and he smiles as he answers.

“Can you fly down to LA this weekend? This producer I know is having a party; we should really be there.” And Jared realizes just how long it’s been since they’ve hade a conversation that had nothing to do with producers or studios or photo shoots or their careers, how long it’s been since he felt like half of a couple and not a business partnership.

In the best of times it would be unpleasant to spend hours on a plane after an eighty hour work week. As tall as he is, even the first class seats are too crowded for him to sleep in. Now, with his back bothering him so much, it would be hell. And still, if she’d asked him to come down so they could spend some time together, just a quiet night in before he had to fly back again, he would have. It would have totally been worth it.

But for a party? Fake smiles and champagne and dressing up in his tux? “Sandy, I can’t, I’m sorry.”

He can feel her annoyance crackling down the line. “Jared, I can’t just sit home all the time while you’re up there in Canada. I have to get out, make the rounds, be seen. I need you.”

He cuts off the frustrated sigh that’s threatening to come out of his throat. “Take someone else. I’ll be fine with it.”

It’s the first time in their relationship that she’s hung up on him.

The third session with Jensen involves neither nudity nor the massage table. They use the gym-trailer for Jared’s physical therapy. It’s hard and it hurts and it was so much easier when Holly was working with him because if he whimpered and whined she’d pity him and call him adorable and let him get away with it. But with Jensen here, he’ll be damned if he’ll punk out and say he’s had enough.

He goes for distraction instead, and what pops into his head is “So the guys are going out tonight with some of the Smallville people after we’re done shooting. Want to come along?”

“I’m not sure that would be very professional of me,” Jensen says with a grin.

“God, I hope not,” Jared counters, “Since I’d like to sit around and drink a beer instead of being tortured with a weight set.”

“Okay then, sounds like a plan. I still want to see three more crunches.”

It turns out that Jared’s place is a good spot to meet and drive over to the bar together. Jensen comes in and meets the pooches, crouching down to ruffle Sadie’s ruff and scratch behind Harley’s ears. They’ve never been particularly picky dogs, but a little part of Jared is really glad to see how easy Jensen is with them. Most people get a little miffed when they come away slobbered and covered in tan dog hair. Jensen just laughs and wipes his face on his shoulder and takes the lint-brush that Jared offers him and gets the worst of the fur off of his shirt and jeans.

They’re halfway there when it hits Jared just how many minor celebrities are going to be there. He doesn’t think Jensen will be intimidated by anybody, even Mike, he just doesn’t want him to think Jared was showing off or acting like a big shot or something.

He’s nervous, and starts the night with a shot and a beer chaser to calm his nerves. Jensen starts with a plain Coke and by charming everybody that Jared introduces him to. And it’s kind of cool, to sit back and watch Jensen talking to other people, flashing that smile, shining so bright. It’s almost easier, to have that glow pointed someplace else, so Jared can really watch him without being overwhelmed by him.

Jensen seems genuinely happy to be there, but not star-struck at all. He laughs at the lighting guy’s jokes as much as he laughs at Tom Welling’s. Mike tries to talk him into adding rum to his soda and he manages to say no and not sound like a jerk.

Jensen never ever turns away to hide his scar. He doesn’t keep it to the shadowed side, doesn’t tilt his head to minimize the effect and it makes Jared feel somehow proud to be around him.

A few more glasses of liquid courage later, and Jared’s bold enough to sling his arm around Jensen's shoulder. He leans close when he has something to say, even though the bar isn’t that terribly loud. Kripke looks confused and Johnson looks thoughtful. Tom’s grinning and Mike is too drunk and distracted to notice or care.

If Jensen minds the weight of Jared’s arm or the warmth of Jared’s body leaning against his, he doesn’t object and Jared is pretty sure Jensen's the kind of guy who would say something.

One by one, people say their goodbyes and head out. “You look done,” Jensen tells him and Jared grins.

“Not yet I’m not.” He tries to waggle his eyebrows suggestively but he’s not sure if they cooperate. Jensen chuckles though, so he figures it’s okay if he looked silly if it made Jen happy.

Jensen stands up, takes Jared’s wrist and pulls him to his feet. The world tilts around him and heh. Oh yeah. He did have that much to drink, didn’t he. He puts his arm back around Jensen’s shoulders (where it belongs, damnit). Jensen has one arm around his waist and the other hand splayed out on his chest and after a second Jared feels grounded, at least enough to walk out to his truck if Jensen helps a little.

The air outside is cool and the side of the vehicle downright cold as Jensen leans him up against the cab. Jared doesn’t remember giving over his keys but Jensen opens the doors and helps him into the passenger side. His smile is indulgent of the drunk guy and his hands are warm as he pulls the seatbelt over Jared’s shoulder and chest, buckles it at his side. A brush of hand over the outside of his thigh makes sure his leg is all the way in before Jensen closes the door.

And if this is the way he’ll get taken care of every time he drinks, Jared sees a lot more alcohol in his future. And if everybody got taken care of like this, there would only be like the few very straight guys in the world who weren’t alcoholics. Or something.

He leans the back of his head against the window and decides that Jensen is really attractive standing besides Jared’s truck, and unlocking Jared’s truck and adjusting the seat and starting the engine.

“If you wanted to drive, you could have just asked. You didn’t have to get me drunk.” He adds the Lear of Innuendo ™ to the comment and Jensen laughs.

“You got yourself drunk.” He glances away from the road, meeting Jared’s eyes for the briefest moment before turning back. “And from here, it looks like you wanted me driving.”

And God, it just strikes Jared stupid how beautiful he is, how perfect he fits, driving Jared’s truck, being in Jared’s life. So what if it’s only been three days. He wants to say something witty, make Jensen smile again, but the road turns left and Jensen’s hands on the steering wheel distract the words right out of his head.

They don’t come back, either; Jensen pulls up outside Jared’s house and manhandles him onto the front porch. That’s kind of nice too; it’s been a long time since Jared’s been with somebody strong enough that he can be the one getting taken care of. And maybe he’s hamming it up a little, exaggerating how drunk he is. It’s not hurting anything though, and Jensen doesn’t seem to mind keeping him pinned to the wall with one hand while he gets the door closed and locked with the other.

The dogs don’t know who to love on more and are making a pain of themselves underfoot. Jensen’s still grinning, all “Geeze guys, give me a sec, would ya?” Sadie trips him up and Jared pounces on the opportunity, kind of push/leaning in so Jen’s pressed against the opposite wall of the entryway. He looks surprised but not unhappy and Jared moves in and kisses him.

And for a second, it’s perfect. Jensen’s face fits so well in his hands, the scar on his cheek flushed so hot it almost burns under his fingers. Jensen is kissing him back, his mouth sweet with soda and nothing else. Jared realizes that Jensen’s stone sober and he’s sloppy drunk and he could so be taken advantage of, and wouldn’t that be great?

But then Jensen’s pushing him back, saying “Jared. Jared, wait,” in between kisses, like it’s as hard to make himself stop as it is to get Jared to.

Jared doesn’t want to stop but he wants Jensen to hate him even less, so he lets himself be held at arm’s length. Jensen’s laughing like he’s in pain; he’s flushed and his pupils are wide and his lips are shiny where Jared’s tongue has been. “Oh God,” he laughs, brittle around the edges. “I can’t…” he takes a deep breath. “I promised myself no more actors, and I would totally break that promise for you. You’re not like any actor I’ve ever met.” The last of his smile fades though, and Jared feels bereft.

“But I also promised myself no more boys who have girlfriends and I can’t—I won’t. You have no idea how sorry I am…”

Jared feels like he’s had cold water dashed on him. “Are you telling me to break up with Sandy for you?” He realizes as he says it what an ass he sounds like, that of course Jensen deserves a guy who is faithful only to him. He wants to take it back, erase the words, do it over.

He expects Jensen to punch him or at least walk out but he just keeps him at arm’s length, his thumbs stroking over the muscles of Jared’s shoulders. “I’m telling you that if there’s something wrong with your relationship I don’t want to be the cause and I can’t be the solution.” He ducks down to see Jared’s eyes under the fringe of his bangs. “I won’t be your parachute or your rebound, but if it’s okay with you, I’d like to still be your friend.”

Jared feels like he’s on that stupid Superman ride at Six Flags, like he’s fallen ten stories and left some important part of himself way up there where things were happy. He thinks back over the entire evening, without the drunken haze of wishful thinking, and God, how could he have confused polite and friendly and happy with horny and flirtatious and sexual?

He wants to have hysterics and cry with embarrassment and maybe run off and puke, but he’s a man, damn it, and he’ll make it through this on balls alone if he has to. He clenches his jaw and tries to look Jensen in the eye, but only manages to raise his gaze to those lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Jensen.” He wants to wrap himself around Jensen and never let go, but he steps back instead, his shoulders so cold where warm hands had been. “I was incredibly stupid tonight and I apologize.”

Jensen sighs and takes a step forward with a “Hey, don’t worry about it,” and Jared…if he can’t touch the way he wants to, he can’t touch at all right now, so he takes another step away. Sadie whines in confusion at the sudden change in atmosphere and nudges her cold wet nose against his fingers. And she’s not a gorgeous green-eyed Texan, but she’s warm and doesn’t think he’s an asshole, so he crouches down and gives her hugs and scritches until he hears Jensen sigh and say “Take care of yourself, Jared.”

He doesn’t look up as the front door closes. It’s quiet for a long time before Jensen’s jeep pulls away.