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ladyjanellyA day in the life
Jensen
Jeff
Jared
beta'ed by embroiderama
==================
Jensen wanders back towards the places where Jeff and the people Jeff watches out for stay. He goes slow and he doesn’t mind it. He needs to find more things for gifts for Jared and he needs to think too.
Jared’s nice. He knows that. He likes Jared and that’s a true thing too. He doesn’t want to be with Jared what he is with Jeff--broken and taken care of and helped and hidden. Or he does but he wants to watch over Jared too and keep him safe and make him sleep when the time comes. He wants to give Jared gifts that make his eyes light up and his dimples show by his mouth. He wants something like a hunger in his chest but he has no words for it.
He needs to find and see before he knows how to be so he watches the people. So many are so busy and all alone walking to their work or the bus or getting in cars. He looks for people close to other people and he doesn’t see many. In the middle of the day the shiny girls come out in their glitter and bright hair and high heels. They get in cars with men or go down the alleyways and come back again in a few minutes. Jensen doesn’t want to be that. All quick-done and finding another one. He wants to be long-time and forever-good and kept and keeping.
He watches men who touch men but they are always so quick and rough. They punch and shove and grin. He sees Marie and her man who don’t stay at the shelter because there are no beds there for men and women together. He likes the way they touch and the way they smile and he doesn’t know if men can be that way together with men.
He looks for Jeff even though he doesn’t know what to say or how to ask what he needs. He finds his friend talking to some people near one of the shelters that serves lunch from the kitchen so he sneaks by and goes through the line. The big man behind the counter talks to him and he won’t look up. “The roses are burning,” Jensen says and the man looks sad and passes him a plate with a sandwich on it. .
Jeff looks surprised when Jensen brings the sandwich out for him and then happy and then worried all so quick it makes Jensen dizzy. He puts his hand on Jensen's shoulder and guides him over away from the crowd. He tips Jensen's head towards the sunshine and looks for something Jensen doesn’t understand in his face.
“Are you okay?” Jeff asks and Jensen nods his head. He ate and slept safe and Jared was nice and he can’t imagine being more okay than he is. He holds out the sandwich for Jeff but Jeff doesn’t see it.
“Did he hurt you?” Jeff tries again, “Did he touch you?”
There is something more Jeff is asking but Jensen doesn’t know what it is. “Soft,” he answers, “Soft soft.”
Jeff makes a growl in his throat. “Jensen, did he touch you naked?”
And Jared did but not this time and Jeff’s questioning is so confusing and there is so much Jensen doesn’t remember how to say. Words rush through his head and he can’t find the order for them to be in. Of course Jared touched him naked. Jensen was hurt and Jeff gave him to Jared and Jared had to fix him. Jeff knows that but he asks anyway so he has to be asking a different thing.
Jensen grabs Jeff’s hand from his jaw and moves it down to the center of his chest. The more he practices the easier the words come. “Safe,” he says. “Jared is. Good. Safe.” He wants Jeff to feel his heart beat so steady and strong and sure.
Jeff makes growls in his throat but he doesn’t ask about Jared again. “You hungry?” Jeff asks and Jensen pushes the sandwich towards his friend again. “Yeah, okay.” He sits down on the curb and Jensen sits beside him while Jeff eats.
==========
Jeff had always known someone would come for Jensen. He just expected it to be someone who knew him, a wife or girlfriend maybe, or a sobbing older couple with a wrinkled photograph. Until that happened he thought Jensen would be his responsibility, his project.
Jeff watches Jensen from the corner of his eye as he eats the sandwich Jensen brought him. He’s not sure when the man he’d thought was broken beyond repair had started to heal but he can’t miss it now. Jensen's standing straighter and interacting with the world. The changes started before Jared came into Jensen's life but since then his progress has been rolling along like a semi with air in the brake lines.
With a gun to his head Jeff wouldn’t admit how much it hurts. He wants Jensen to be healthy. He wants him to be happy and find a place to sleep out of the weather and have enough to eat and he’d swear that’s all he wants. But somewhere along the way Jeff went and got attached and it hurts to feel another one slipping away from him even if it is to a better life.
Jensen pulls a yard-long strip of wire from his backpack and starts stripping the plastic coating off with a box cutter blade. He seems content to sit and work on whatever strange thing has caught his interest. Jeff watches for a while--partly to see if Jensen's gonna cut his thumb off and partly out of curiosity about what he’s trying to accomplish but Karen Hall scurries up the sidewalk to them and he turns his attention to her.
She was probably pretty once, before bad choices and two kids and a husband who did more communication with the back of his hand than his voice came into her life. Her hair hangs dull blonde to her shoulders and her brown eyes are tired and glassy. The boys cling to her hands, the youngest one with a cast still on his arm and Jeff needs to ask Jared if he can take care of that when the time comes.
The kids sit down as soon as she stops walking and Jeff watches Jensen's shy smile at them. Jeff talks to Karen and Jensen sits with the kids and makes them little toy animals out of twisted blue-coated wire. Jensen doesn’t speak and the kids don’t say a word but they take the toys and the pop-tarts he gives them and eat like they’re starving.
Jeff and Karen decide on the shelter most likely to be able to take her broken family for the night. Jeff offers to walk her there and carry one of the kids and he’s surprised when Jensen holds his arms out to the smaller one. Together their mixed group walks the mile to the Watt street shelter and Karen sags with relief and exhaustion as they get admitted. Jeff watches from the door and Jensen waves goodbye to the kids and then stands and leans his shoulder against Jeff’s.
This--this was a good day.
=========
Jared sleeps in short snatches until a little after noon when the restlessness overwhelms the aftereffects of a hard night’s work and he can’t stand to be in bed any longer. Being awake with the rest of the world has some advantages at least and he wanders downstairs. There’s a Salvation Army thrift store down the block and he hits there first. He knows he isn’t responsible for keeping Jensen in decent clothes but he’s already offered his couch and it would suck for Jensen to sleep there smelling bad and make it stink, right? Clearly it wouldn’t be a bad idea to grab some clothes for him to change into while Jared does laundry.
Two jeans, four shirts and a heavy jacket later he pokes through the house-wares section before he goes to the checkout counter. They’ve got silverware sets masking-taped together in groups of four place settings for three bucks and Jared picks up a couple. He hopes Jensen figures out what to do with the leftover spoons, especially if the knives and forks of this bunch end up added to the sculpture.
Bored still he wanders through the nearby dollar store looking for something else Jensen would like maybe something to make more stuff out of. All of it looks too cheap and crappy and made-in-China to end up as part of a beautiful sculpture and he’s almost out the door when he notices the tool isle. And yeah, they aren’t the best things to work with but who knows if Jensen will like them or use them or just end up making art from them. Jared picks up a pair of wire cutters, some pliers, a utility knife and some cheap multi-tool thing with screwdrivers and other useful looking tools in it. He considers superglue but vetoes the idea for safety reasons. A roll of electrical tape can’t do too much damage though, right?
He walks back to his apartment thinking about the clothes and wondering if his hope has overrun his sense, if Jensen will come back like Jared said he could, if some ulterior motive lurks behind Jared’s generosity. And god, it’s not like he got Jensen leather pants and a mesh shirt. He snorts out a laugh at his own mental image. Jensen all bony shoulders and brushy beard in club clothes. Maybe his motives are safe after all, because that? Not a sexy thought at all. Jared’s type has never been heroin chic. He likes his men fit and strong, passionate and just this side of dangerous. Jeff’s paranoia is fucking with his head and he’s gotta stop thinking about not-thinking about Jensen's dubious charms.
He washes Jensen's new clothes and thinks about taking a nap but he gets distracted following the lines of the knife and fork wave that swirls around his kitchen table and never quite gets to bed again before the load’s done. The shape of the art reminds him of something. Something not made out of flatware. The edge loops around and leads his eye back to the beginning. Not that there’s a line that connects the two, but there’s nowhere he can look when he gets to the end except back at the beginning.
For the first time he wishes that he hadn’t let Darren take the camera in the breakup. This can’t last beyond the next time the table gets bumped and he feels like he should record it for posterity or something. Not that a two-dimensional photo would do it justice or capture just how strong the piece is. He snaps off a few low-quality pictures with his phone and tries to think of somebody to send them to.
The dryer’s buzz draws Jared back to the ratty apartment and the chores to be finished. He folds Jensen's new clothes but doesn’t have a proper place to put them. Maybe next week, maybe if Jensen comes back enough to make it worthwhile he’ll go back to the thrift store and pick up one of the bedside tables they had for twenty bucks and keep it next to the couch for Jensen's things. In the meantime though he sets them on the coffee table. Which reminds him of the other thing Jensen had worked on while he’d been at the clinic.
Jared walks back to his door and tries to remember exactly where the coffee table and heater had been after Jensen rearranged. He gets them set up and then pulls the cushions off of the couch to build a lean-to wall against the backside. The rug from the kitchen and a throw pillow from the couch finish the little shelter.
Jared can believe Jensen fit inside but doesn’t imagine he will. Still, he lays down and scooches back into it. He twists his shoulders to fit their width and folds his legs up tight until he gets his feet tucked inside the far table legs. He knocks the cushions over twice and bumps his head once but after he settles himself it feels close. Safe.
The heater’s fan blows warm air towards his midsection and the underside of the table catches the heat and keeps it in the hidey hole. He can’t really move. Constricted like some weird experiment in self-bondage. There’s no way he’s sleeping either, but if the table was three inches higher and about a foot longer he can see how he could. As scrawny as Jensen is, Jared can imagine him here, tucked away in a place that feels familiar.
-----------
Jared dreams of the city and a winter like old people talk about seeing in their youth. The wind tears through his clothes and crushes his lungs and burns his cheeks and eyelids and lips. People walk by in business suits with their shiny black shoes or high heeled pumps clipping against the frozen cement. Their faces are all the same despite the differences in their coloring, like one man and one woman repeated in endless variations. He tries to reach them but they always stand just out of range. Further than he thought and further than they could be. He cries out but no face turns towards him and no hand offered to him in compassion. Blue eyes and brown and green stare through him like he doesn’t exist.
He falls and the wind was so cold that the snow drift feels warm by comparison. He knows, he knows he has to keep moving keep walking keep searching for a warm spot or a kind stranger but the place he has fallen offers the sweet comfort of oblivion and he can’t lift his head.
In his muffled white world a noise reaches his ears. Tap. Tap. Tap. Steady like a blind man’s cane. Tap. Tap. Tap. And a blind man shouldn’t be out in this crap. Too cold too thick too lonely. He struggles to move and wakes up in his living room under the coffee table with that tap tap tap still prodding him to move and fix and do.
Jared doesn’t consider himself more than half awake when he gets to the door and opens it. The tapping stops and Jensen stands outside looking shy and skittish. He takes one look at Jared though and frowns and steps in the open doorway. “Tired,” he says like they are picking up the earlier conversation without a break.
Jared rubs a hand over his gritty eyes. “Are you telling me I look like crap?” And Jensen nods with all due gravity.
“I tried to sleep,” Jared says as he closes the door and walks over to put the cushions back on the couch. “Just restless, I guess.” He turns the heater back towards the couch.
Jensen's hands on his shoulders are determined and sure and Jared lets himself be pushed back onto the couch. Jensen turns him and tucks his feet up onto the seat and then strips his jacket off like he had that morning. Instead of covering just Jared this time though, he settles beside him and leans against his shoulder and lays the jacket over both of them.
Jared is torn between amusement and frustration, because as sweet as the gesture is, he won’t sleep. Not this late and not with someone else on his couch with him. He thinks about telling Jensen that. So he won’t be disappointed. Wouldn’t be fair for Jensen to think Jared doesn’t sleep because of him.
Jensen's hair rubs against Jared’s cheek. “Safe here and warm,” he whispers. “No more hungry or cold or scared, Jared. Sleep here, it’s good I promise.”
Should just sit up and say it. Maybe ask about Jensen's day. It’s not right, Jensen helping him. Should be the other way around. Jensen has enough of a job just taking care of himself never mind the man who should be his doctor or whatever. Heat leaches into Jared’s side and he leans a little more against Jensen. Slow breathing. Steady. Any minute now. Getting up and making something to eat.
The alarm in the bedroom goes off and Jared startles awake and Jensen beside him stands like he needs to run or fight now. “’S okay,” Jared mumbles. He stands up and seats Jensen back on the couch. Their eyes meet and Jared smiles. “Thanks. For helping me sleep.”
Jensen doesn’t look pleased with the turn of events and reaches out and cups his hand around the back of Jared’s neck. “Sleep,” he says. “Jared you sleep more.”
Jared can’t remember the last day he’d rather have spent at home than going in to work but the urge to call in dead nearly overwhelms him. “Can’t,” he whispers back to Jensen. “I have to go work. I have to help people.”
Jensen's determination softens and he pulls Jared down to press their foreheads together and Jesus, Jared’s sure Jensen is gonna kiss him but he just holds the contact for a moment before he releases Jared again. He looks thoughtful and Jared would like to ask him about it, what he’s thinking, but he has to hurry if he wants to get a shower to wake him up and cook something hot for him and Jensen before he leaves.
============
Jensen
Jeff
Jared
beta'ed by embroiderama
==================
Jensen wanders back towards the places where Jeff and the people Jeff watches out for stay. He goes slow and he doesn’t mind it. He needs to find more things for gifts for Jared and he needs to think too.
Jared’s nice. He knows that. He likes Jared and that’s a true thing too. He doesn’t want to be with Jared what he is with Jeff--broken and taken care of and helped and hidden. Or he does but he wants to watch over Jared too and keep him safe and make him sleep when the time comes. He wants to give Jared gifts that make his eyes light up and his dimples show by his mouth. He wants something like a hunger in his chest but he has no words for it.
He needs to find and see before he knows how to be so he watches the people. So many are so busy and all alone walking to their work or the bus or getting in cars. He looks for people close to other people and he doesn’t see many. In the middle of the day the shiny girls come out in their glitter and bright hair and high heels. They get in cars with men or go down the alleyways and come back again in a few minutes. Jensen doesn’t want to be that. All quick-done and finding another one. He wants to be long-time and forever-good and kept and keeping.
He watches men who touch men but they are always so quick and rough. They punch and shove and grin. He sees Marie and her man who don’t stay at the shelter because there are no beds there for men and women together. He likes the way they touch and the way they smile and he doesn’t know if men can be that way together with men.
He looks for Jeff even though he doesn’t know what to say or how to ask what he needs. He finds his friend talking to some people near one of the shelters that serves lunch from the kitchen so he sneaks by and goes through the line. The big man behind the counter talks to him and he won’t look up. “The roses are burning,” Jensen says and the man looks sad and passes him a plate with a sandwich on it. .
Jeff looks surprised when Jensen brings the sandwich out for him and then happy and then worried all so quick it makes Jensen dizzy. He puts his hand on Jensen's shoulder and guides him over away from the crowd. He tips Jensen's head towards the sunshine and looks for something Jensen doesn’t understand in his face.
“Are you okay?” Jeff asks and Jensen nods his head. He ate and slept safe and Jared was nice and he can’t imagine being more okay than he is. He holds out the sandwich for Jeff but Jeff doesn’t see it.
“Did he hurt you?” Jeff tries again, “Did he touch you?”
There is something more Jeff is asking but Jensen doesn’t know what it is. “Soft,” he answers, “Soft soft.”
Jeff makes a growl in his throat. “Jensen, did he touch you naked?”
And Jared did but not this time and Jeff’s questioning is so confusing and there is so much Jensen doesn’t remember how to say. Words rush through his head and he can’t find the order for them to be in. Of course Jared touched him naked. Jensen was hurt and Jeff gave him to Jared and Jared had to fix him. Jeff knows that but he asks anyway so he has to be asking a different thing.
Jensen grabs Jeff’s hand from his jaw and moves it down to the center of his chest. The more he practices the easier the words come. “Safe,” he says. “Jared is. Good. Safe.” He wants Jeff to feel his heart beat so steady and strong and sure.
Jeff makes growls in his throat but he doesn’t ask about Jared again. “You hungry?” Jeff asks and Jensen pushes the sandwich towards his friend again. “Yeah, okay.” He sits down on the curb and Jensen sits beside him while Jeff eats.
==========
Jeff had always known someone would come for Jensen. He just expected it to be someone who knew him, a wife or girlfriend maybe, or a sobbing older couple with a wrinkled photograph. Until that happened he thought Jensen would be his responsibility, his project.
Jeff watches Jensen from the corner of his eye as he eats the sandwich Jensen brought him. He’s not sure when the man he’d thought was broken beyond repair had started to heal but he can’t miss it now. Jensen's standing straighter and interacting with the world. The changes started before Jared came into Jensen's life but since then his progress has been rolling along like a semi with air in the brake lines.
With a gun to his head Jeff wouldn’t admit how much it hurts. He wants Jensen to be healthy. He wants him to be happy and find a place to sleep out of the weather and have enough to eat and he’d swear that’s all he wants. But somewhere along the way Jeff went and got attached and it hurts to feel another one slipping away from him even if it is to a better life.
Jensen pulls a yard-long strip of wire from his backpack and starts stripping the plastic coating off with a box cutter blade. He seems content to sit and work on whatever strange thing has caught his interest. Jeff watches for a while--partly to see if Jensen's gonna cut his thumb off and partly out of curiosity about what he’s trying to accomplish but Karen Hall scurries up the sidewalk to them and he turns his attention to her.
She was probably pretty once, before bad choices and two kids and a husband who did more communication with the back of his hand than his voice came into her life. Her hair hangs dull blonde to her shoulders and her brown eyes are tired and glassy. The boys cling to her hands, the youngest one with a cast still on his arm and Jeff needs to ask Jared if he can take care of that when the time comes.
The kids sit down as soon as she stops walking and Jeff watches Jensen's shy smile at them. Jeff talks to Karen and Jensen sits with the kids and makes them little toy animals out of twisted blue-coated wire. Jensen doesn’t speak and the kids don’t say a word but they take the toys and the pop-tarts he gives them and eat like they’re starving.
Jeff and Karen decide on the shelter most likely to be able to take her broken family for the night. Jeff offers to walk her there and carry one of the kids and he’s surprised when Jensen holds his arms out to the smaller one. Together their mixed group walks the mile to the Watt street shelter and Karen sags with relief and exhaustion as they get admitted. Jeff watches from the door and Jensen waves goodbye to the kids and then stands and leans his shoulder against Jeff’s.
This--this was a good day.
=========
Jared sleeps in short snatches until a little after noon when the restlessness overwhelms the aftereffects of a hard night’s work and he can’t stand to be in bed any longer. Being awake with the rest of the world has some advantages at least and he wanders downstairs. There’s a Salvation Army thrift store down the block and he hits there first. He knows he isn’t responsible for keeping Jensen in decent clothes but he’s already offered his couch and it would suck for Jensen to sleep there smelling bad and make it stink, right? Clearly it wouldn’t be a bad idea to grab some clothes for him to change into while Jared does laundry.
Two jeans, four shirts and a heavy jacket later he pokes through the house-wares section before he goes to the checkout counter. They’ve got silverware sets masking-taped together in groups of four place settings for three bucks and Jared picks up a couple. He hopes Jensen figures out what to do with the leftover spoons, especially if the knives and forks of this bunch end up added to the sculpture.
Bored still he wanders through the nearby dollar store looking for something else Jensen would like maybe something to make more stuff out of. All of it looks too cheap and crappy and made-in-China to end up as part of a beautiful sculpture and he’s almost out the door when he notices the tool isle. And yeah, they aren’t the best things to work with but who knows if Jensen will like them or use them or just end up making art from them. Jared picks up a pair of wire cutters, some pliers, a utility knife and some cheap multi-tool thing with screwdrivers and other useful looking tools in it. He considers superglue but vetoes the idea for safety reasons. A roll of electrical tape can’t do too much damage though, right?
He walks back to his apartment thinking about the clothes and wondering if his hope has overrun his sense, if Jensen will come back like Jared said he could, if some ulterior motive lurks behind Jared’s generosity. And god, it’s not like he got Jensen leather pants and a mesh shirt. He snorts out a laugh at his own mental image. Jensen all bony shoulders and brushy beard in club clothes. Maybe his motives are safe after all, because that? Not a sexy thought at all. Jared’s type has never been heroin chic. He likes his men fit and strong, passionate and just this side of dangerous. Jeff’s paranoia is fucking with his head and he’s gotta stop thinking about not-thinking about Jensen's dubious charms.
He washes Jensen's new clothes and thinks about taking a nap but he gets distracted following the lines of the knife and fork wave that swirls around his kitchen table and never quite gets to bed again before the load’s done. The shape of the art reminds him of something. Something not made out of flatware. The edge loops around and leads his eye back to the beginning. Not that there’s a line that connects the two, but there’s nowhere he can look when he gets to the end except back at the beginning.
For the first time he wishes that he hadn’t let Darren take the camera in the breakup. This can’t last beyond the next time the table gets bumped and he feels like he should record it for posterity or something. Not that a two-dimensional photo would do it justice or capture just how strong the piece is. He snaps off a few low-quality pictures with his phone and tries to think of somebody to send them to.
The dryer’s buzz draws Jared back to the ratty apartment and the chores to be finished. He folds Jensen's new clothes but doesn’t have a proper place to put them. Maybe next week, maybe if Jensen comes back enough to make it worthwhile he’ll go back to the thrift store and pick up one of the bedside tables they had for twenty bucks and keep it next to the couch for Jensen's things. In the meantime though he sets them on the coffee table. Which reminds him of the other thing Jensen had worked on while he’d been at the clinic.
Jared walks back to his door and tries to remember exactly where the coffee table and heater had been after Jensen rearranged. He gets them set up and then pulls the cushions off of the couch to build a lean-to wall against the backside. The rug from the kitchen and a throw pillow from the couch finish the little shelter.
Jared can believe Jensen fit inside but doesn’t imagine he will. Still, he lays down and scooches back into it. He twists his shoulders to fit their width and folds his legs up tight until he gets his feet tucked inside the far table legs. He knocks the cushions over twice and bumps his head once but after he settles himself it feels close. Safe.
The heater’s fan blows warm air towards his midsection and the underside of the table catches the heat and keeps it in the hidey hole. He can’t really move. Constricted like some weird experiment in self-bondage. There’s no way he’s sleeping either, but if the table was three inches higher and about a foot longer he can see how he could. As scrawny as Jensen is, Jared can imagine him here, tucked away in a place that feels familiar.
-----------
Jared dreams of the city and a winter like old people talk about seeing in their youth. The wind tears through his clothes and crushes his lungs and burns his cheeks and eyelids and lips. People walk by in business suits with their shiny black shoes or high heeled pumps clipping against the frozen cement. Their faces are all the same despite the differences in their coloring, like one man and one woman repeated in endless variations. He tries to reach them but they always stand just out of range. Further than he thought and further than they could be. He cries out but no face turns towards him and no hand offered to him in compassion. Blue eyes and brown and green stare through him like he doesn’t exist.
He falls and the wind was so cold that the snow drift feels warm by comparison. He knows, he knows he has to keep moving keep walking keep searching for a warm spot or a kind stranger but the place he has fallen offers the sweet comfort of oblivion and he can’t lift his head.
In his muffled white world a noise reaches his ears. Tap. Tap. Tap. Steady like a blind man’s cane. Tap. Tap. Tap. And a blind man shouldn’t be out in this crap. Too cold too thick too lonely. He struggles to move and wakes up in his living room under the coffee table with that tap tap tap still prodding him to move and fix and do.
Jared doesn’t consider himself more than half awake when he gets to the door and opens it. The tapping stops and Jensen stands outside looking shy and skittish. He takes one look at Jared though and frowns and steps in the open doorway. “Tired,” he says like they are picking up the earlier conversation without a break.
Jared rubs a hand over his gritty eyes. “Are you telling me I look like crap?” And Jensen nods with all due gravity.
“I tried to sleep,” Jared says as he closes the door and walks over to put the cushions back on the couch. “Just restless, I guess.” He turns the heater back towards the couch.
Jensen's hands on his shoulders are determined and sure and Jared lets himself be pushed back onto the couch. Jensen turns him and tucks his feet up onto the seat and then strips his jacket off like he had that morning. Instead of covering just Jared this time though, he settles beside him and leans against his shoulder and lays the jacket over both of them.
Jared is torn between amusement and frustration, because as sweet as the gesture is, he won’t sleep. Not this late and not with someone else on his couch with him. He thinks about telling Jensen that. So he won’t be disappointed. Wouldn’t be fair for Jensen to think Jared doesn’t sleep because of him.
Jensen's hair rubs against Jared’s cheek. “Safe here and warm,” he whispers. “No more hungry or cold or scared, Jared. Sleep here, it’s good I promise.”
Should just sit up and say it. Maybe ask about Jensen's day. It’s not right, Jensen helping him. Should be the other way around. Jensen has enough of a job just taking care of himself never mind the man who should be his doctor or whatever. Heat leaches into Jared’s side and he leans a little more against Jensen. Slow breathing. Steady. Any minute now. Getting up and making something to eat.
The alarm in the bedroom goes off and Jared startles awake and Jensen beside him stands like he needs to run or fight now. “’S okay,” Jared mumbles. He stands up and seats Jensen back on the couch. Their eyes meet and Jared smiles. “Thanks. For helping me sleep.”
Jensen doesn’t look pleased with the turn of events and reaches out and cups his hand around the back of Jared’s neck. “Sleep,” he says. “Jared you sleep more.”
Jared can’t remember the last day he’d rather have spent at home than going in to work but the urge to call in dead nearly overwhelms him. “Can’t,” he whispers back to Jensen. “I have to go work. I have to help people.”
Jensen's determination softens and he pulls Jared down to press their foreheads together and Jesus, Jared’s sure Jensen is gonna kiss him but he just holds the contact for a moment before he releases Jared again. He looks thoughtful and Jared would like to ask him about it, what he’s thinking, but he has to hurry if he wants to get a shower to wake him up and cook something hot for him and Jensen before he leaves.
============
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-01 11:30 pm (UTC)but i love this
x
no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 01:06 am (UTC)I think it's because that's what usually happen to people living on streets - specially the good looking ones. And since Jensen is not himself so to speak, he can't really express himself and defend himself. So Jeff looks at Jared helping Jensen and in all his experience he thinks of he's seen time and time again.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-02-01 11:59 pm (UTC)I love how Jensen already feels a connection to Jared, already feels, even if he can't express it, something deeper than gratitude or 'like'.
A wonderful installment - a pleasure to read.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 02:52 am (UTC)No, but seriously, more paternal than romantic.
So glad you enjoyed it.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 12:09 am (UTC)That is so sweet, Jensen wanting to take care of Jared back.
“Safe here and warm,” he whispers. “No more hungry or cold or scared, Jared. Sleep here, it’s good I promise.”
This is the most Jensen has ever said in the whole story. I found it a little strange that Jared didn't react to that, but I figure he was too tired to think clearly. I like it when Jensen points out he looks "like crap". He's not trying to make fun; he's got the honesty of a child. It's endearing.
This is sooo good.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 07:52 pm (UTC)Yeah, Jared was sort of fading at that point. Also, it had a little of the 'crazy babble' tone to it.
Heh. Jensen doesnt know how to lie.
So glad you're enjoying it. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment like this.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 12:35 am (UTC)And i love the nap on the couch, and the foreheads touching...so nice.
*happy sigh*
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 07:56 pm (UTC)Jensen's really changing, and I'm glad that it comes through.
Mmmmm, nap. You can always tell when I"m not getting enough sleep in real life because my characters get more.
Word!
Date: 2008-02-02 01:29 am (UTC)Re: Word!
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 01:07 am (UTC)Sorry I haven't been around much :(
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 08:07 pm (UTC)I'm loving writing this fic so hard. It's strayed some from the outline but not too much. I just couldn't keep them away from each other.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 08:11 pm (UTC)I had never intended this to be a triangle-fic but it works really well with Jeff in the mix. He was a complete accident.
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Date: 2008-02-02 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 08:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 01:43 am (UTC)Your Jeff is just incredible. So. Much. Love.
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Date: 2008-02-03 02:54 am (UTC)I love that discovery as a writer. It's the best part.
Glad you love Jeff. I hadn't even planned on him, but he butted in and made a place for himself and I'm so glad he did.
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Date: 2008-02-03 03:18 am (UTC)Jensen's such a joy to write in this. Glad you have as much fun reading as I do writing.
I'm like the least pimpin' author around, I think.
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Date: 2008-02-02 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 08:19 pm (UTC)I loves Jeff. I really really do. Just read the interview about when he found Bisou and how tiny she was. Everything I ever hear about him makes me love him more.
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Date: 2008-02-02 01:51 am (UTC)A lovely installment.
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Date: 2008-02-03 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 01:53 am (UTC)This is just the most amazing, incredible story.
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Date: 2008-02-03 08:36 pm (UTC)I think one of the hardest parts of living with an impairment would be not being allowed to help others.
Glad all the boys are entertaining. I'm loving writing all three.
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Date: 2008-02-02 02:11 am (UTC)jeff-love that he is so protective and wanting to care for jensen
jensen-he's just a street angel and he may have finally found a home
jared-too cute and realizing that jensen is his
i love this story
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Date: 2008-02-03 08:42 pm (UTC)One of the things I'm happiest with in this fic is how well all the boys balance out.
So glad it works for the readers too.
-J.
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Date: 2008-02-02 02:21 am (UTC)I love that Jeff is starting to realise that even though he desperately wants to him, he's realising that he wants to be the one Jensen trusts and connects with enough to start to heal, and now that Jensen is doing just that with Jared he is feeling jealous. It's very sweet and a human emotion that many people get caught up in when just tyring to help.
I love thta Jensen is starting to heal enough that his need to protect and care for Jared is coming through. The frustration that Jensen is feeling at not being able to get out what he wants to say comes through very well.
I loved Jared thinking through his motivation towards Jensen and visualising him in the mesh shirt and the scruffy beard, that definitely gave me a giggle!
As you can tell, I'm absolutely loving this fic, you have created a fighteningly real and tangible world that makes me sad for the parallels that are around us every day, but not everyone sees.
Well done.
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Date: 2008-02-03 09:00 pm (UTC)I think helping others is a very healing thing to do, and it must be aweful to be impaired and have everybody trying so hard to help Jensen that he doesnt get to help others. I think he's sort of demanding that right now, in his quiet little way.
Heh. cave-man club-wear? :)
So glad you're enjoying it. I love mixing the raw and gritty and tragic with the hopeful and beautiful and loving.
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Date: 2008-02-02 02:36 am (UTC)This was such a beautiful line it immediately struck me and I jotted it down.
This was an amazing chapter. I loved seeing Jensen's progress through Jeff's eyes and how Jensen has quickly become the focus of Jared's life.
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Date: 2008-02-03 09:06 pm (UTC)I liked that line when I wrote it, but I was surprised at how much feedback it got. That was awesome.
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Date: 2008-02-02 02:41 am (UTC)It makes me so sad, it's really intense.
I can't wait to find out the whole story, about Jensen and how he ended up there.
The foreheads touching was so sweet :)
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Date: 2008-02-03 04:47 am (UTC)Welcome aboard. Settle in, make yourself comfortable.
Thanks for the feedback,
-J.
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Date: 2008-02-02 02:41 am (UTC)Thank you for another great chapter!
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Date: 2008-02-03 10:59 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 03:40 am (UTC)*snuggles chapter*
<3<3
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Date: 2008-02-03 11:03 pm (UTC)Happy snuggle fic.
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Date: 2008-02-02 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 05:48 am (UTC)And this:
Jensen doesn’t look pleased with the turn of events and reaches out and cups his hand around the back of Jared’s neck. “Sleep,” he says. “Jared you sleep more.”
Jared can’t remember the last day he’d rather have spent at home than going in to work but the urge to call in dead nearly overwhelms him. “Can’t,” he whispers back to Jensen. “I have to go work. I have to help people.”
So beautiful it hurt a little. You just keep unfolding Jensen's personality and it's endlessly fascinating. I'm not going to keep saying over and over how much I love this, but I do.
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Date: 2008-02-03 11:46 pm (UTC)Glad you're enjoying it.