Fic: Life Drawing 2/? PG-13 J2

[ladyjanelly]

Life Drawing (2/?)
SPN RPS
PG-13
Entirely fictional
Warnings:  Oh, Jensen. 

This is all there is.  I may get the spark for it later, but at this point it's just "incomplete" and not "WIP".

This is the fic with the room-mate who is not Chris, or any other real celebrity.  
=========================================================

Jared’s freakin’ drained by the time the model pulls his robe back on and steps off of the platform. He feels like he’s poured some part of himself out onto the charcoal-marked drawing papers, like he’s run five miles just standing there drawing, like he’d been possessed by some muse or lost three hours in a trance.

And the work—God, the work is amazing. He’s captured the essence of this model like nobody he’s drawn before (and yeah, he’s only been in a class with a live model three times before this, but still). The guy was like an actor, holding an emotion in every line of his face and body, from the exact tilt of his head to the tension of his toes against the platform. Looking through the fourteen separate sketches, every one of them expresses to Jared a different nuance of personality.

Jared knows, even thinking the words out in his head, that he sounds like a freak, but it’s like they connected somehow. Drawing that guy was like an artist’s high, and Jared’s already jonseing for another fix.

He takes his sweet time packing up for the night, watching the model’s-room door, but when it opens, he’s almost too startled by the transformation to say anything. Baggy clothes hide the lines of his body, loose jeans and an oversize hoodie cover every bit of skin except his face and his fingers.

Wire-framed glasses alter the shape of his face, but the biggest change is in the way he carries himself. On the model’s platform, he portrayed things like "aristocratic aloofness, tempered by the shadow of compassion." Off the platform, there’s nothing but "Ignore me," with an undercurrent of "Fuck you, just stay the fuck away."

He could be a guy Jared’s seen every day this semester, in one of his classes even, and he’d never have seen him.

And then the guy looks at him, wary, like a dog that’s been on the streets too long, and there’s the slightest flicker of something in his eyes. Jared calls it hope, and it’s the encouragement he needs to set his supplies case down, to take a step towards the door before the model slips out.

"Padalecki!" Eric’s voice is sharper than Jared’s ever heard and it curbs him like a short leash.

"Sir?" He asks, biting back his irritation because the model, Jen-something, is leaving, and now the instructor decides to have a conference?

"Jared," Eric begins, his voice halfway between sympathy and sternness. "It’s hard enough getting people in to model for us for the crap the school pays them. I’m not going to lose someone like Jensen over a freshman’s crush."

Jared feels his face flush with sudden embarrassment, because it’s nothing like that, nothing. It’s just the way Jensen was up there, he was perfect, he was all the things Jared wanted to express with his art. He was all the things Jared needs, he’s…

Jared realizes he’s half-hard, just remembering without the distraction of a drawing implement in his hand and a blank sheet of paper in front of him.

Oh God, it is like that. "I’m--sorry, sir. Sorry. Won’t happen again."

He’s just stunned. Eighteen years--How could he have missed the fact he was what, bi? for eighteen years?

Kripke gives him a look. Jared wonders if he’s got something on his face.

"Don’t make trouble with my models," Kripke warns him again, then relaxes back to just-Eric. "Go on Jared, have a good week. Work on your composition when you practice at home."

-------------

Two weeks pass before Jared sees Jensen again. Not that he’s looking for him constantly or anything. He spots Jensen heading from one of the lecture halls, recognizes him by his baggy clothes and his distinctive body language. He’d never have thought somebody trying to be invisible would make him notice them more, but it ends up working like that.

Jensen's all the way across the courtyard, and Jared is honestly afraid to call out to him, afraid that Jen’ll never, ever, talk to him if he goes hollering in front of everybody, calling attention to the reclusive man.

So it just makes sense that he hurries after him but doesn’t yell, follows him into one of the dorms and up the stairs until Jensen disappears behind a door in one of the halls. Right?

He should go and knock on that door he knows, but he’s not ready, doesn’t really know how to put what he’s got to say.

He spends an hour walking around the building, gathering his nerve. He gets his words in order, sniff-tests his pits, and breathes into his hand to test the efficiency of his Altoid.

It’s all good so he knocks, not too hard, not too timid, and tries not to swallow his tongue as he waits. The door opens and he starts his spiel, "Hey, Jensen, I--" but sputters to a halt because the guy who opens the door? Totally not Jensen. He’s short for one, maybe 5’6". He’s got buzz-cut blonde hair and muscular shoulders that are wider than Jared’s, pale blue eyes and a wide grin.

"Garrett, actually," the guys says, his warm smile not faltering. "Jensen's--" he looks over his shoulder, and Jared does too (the dude’s freakin’ short, it’s not like it’s hard). Their room’s tiny, two beds, two desks and not much floor space between them. Jensen's stretched out on one of the beds, his only visible concession to being indoors the fact that his hood is down. His entire attention appears to be on the book by his elbow. He completely ignores Jared, standing not ten feet away from him.

"Jensen's studying," Garrett says with an unapologetic shrug. "Maybe try back later."

"I--" Jared starts, but he can see that he’s not going to get through the gatekeeper gracefully. "I’m an artist," he says to what he hopes to God is just Jensen's roommate. "I was wondering if it would be possible to schedule a session." Garrett’s eyebrow raises. "Just a, just a modeling thing. Professional. Totally professional."

Jensen doesn’t look up, but he seems more tense somehow, the set of his shoulders, the clench of his jaw. His eyes aren’t moving over the page anymore; Jared can tell that even from where he is at the door.

"Jensen doesn’t do private sessions," Garrett says. "The more you offer, the more it’s not gonna happen."

Jared almost smacks himself, because yeah, it’s nice to offer payment when you want a stranger to work for you. He should have planned better, but if he walks away now he’ll never get the nerve to come back.

"I don’t--" He thinks about his truck, that barely runs and that he changes the oil on himself to save money, his momma working summer school to add to Megan’s college fund, the PB&J he brought for lunch. "I don’t have a lot of free money," he explains, talking over Garrett’s head to direct his words at Jensen, even if the man won’t look at him. "But I’m willing to trade two hours of my time for one of yours."

Jensen's still staring through his book, color creeping high on his cheeks. The roommate is looking at Jared like he’s a puzzle with some invisible pieces. "I’ll draw for you," Jared offers, "Or whatever. I can do Photoshop or Powerpoint if you need it for your classes." He’s losing, he can feel it; nothing is getting Jensen's attention and Jared’s getting desperate.

"Look. I’ll do anything. Wash your car, do your laundry. Just name it."

At least that startles Jensen into looking up, if only for a second. "You’re not going through my dirty clothes," he protests, a ‘what kind of freak are you man?’ expression on his face before he looks down again. "And I don’t even have a car." His shoulders are up, defensive.

"I’m sorry," Jared says, and Garrett stands closer now than a second ago, his smile fading with each stupid word out of Jared’s mouth. "This is important to me. The work I did the other night is the best I’ve ever done. Tell me what you want." He’s openly pleading and doesn’t give a fuck. "Just name it."

"I don’t--" Jensen's voice is so quiet that Jared almost misses it. "Look, I don’t need anything. I need time to study and ramen for the month, and I’m good right now."

It’s not much of an opening, but Jared will take what he can get. Folks that eat ramen usually don’t have family close, and that gives him a whole list of things Jensen might want.

"Okay, look. You study, I’ll draw. You don’t have to pose or anything. We can do it at my place. It’s quiet, and there’s more room there, and you can use the washer and dryer for free instead of going to the Laundromat." He searches his brain for what else he can offer that Jensen would value. "And a home-cooked meal. Like meat and veggies and banana puddin' for desert."

Jensen looks up, not at Jared, but at Garrett. The bodybuilder-shoulders shrug and some silent communication passes between them.

Jensen's jaw works like he’s not happy about it, but he says "Tomorrow, six, pick me up here."

Garrett looks back at Jared with a "are you satisfied?" expression on his face.

"Thanks," Jared says, and there hasn't been many times in his life he's meant it more. "I appreciate it, I do."

 

Comments

[jellicle.livejournal.com]

I am absolutely fascinated by the Jensen you created in this verse! And this Garrett guy seems pretty protective of Jensen, what I always approve!

I'll be here with my fingers crossed for more of this!

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Heh. Garrett is totally my cousin down in Florida.

No promises on more, but no definite no either.

Glad you enjoyed what I did do.

[cal-j-fielding.livejournal.com]

This is fantastic...I hope you do get inspired to continue it. As usual, you have wonderful style and flow to your work that just draws me right in.

And this Jensen....this Jensen is painfully selfcontained..and wow...yeah, I'm fastcinated by him.
And I like Jared's desperation to secure model time.

This is just wonderful.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Glad it wasn't too annoying to have these little bits.

I think this Jensen might be a little too broke for me to write my way out of, but otherwise the directions I had planned don't work.

Heh. Jared totally thinks he's being appropriate. Failure.

[cal-j-fielding.livejournal.com]

I've pretty much decided that if you write it , it isn't going to be annoying.

Jensen, too broke...I don't think he can be too broke, cause he's just all pretty when he's broken. And this broken you have here is just so interesting, I want to know everything about this Jensen, his connection to Garrett, how he got into the modelling, why he's so screwed up, how screwed up he is????? yeah, you write little bits of story and steal my brain...

Heh. Jared totally thinks he's being appropriate. Failure.
Yeah...but it's kind of sweet, in a pathetic almost stalkerish kinda way.

So yeah..I love this, and would gladly read anything else you write in this universe....but then, I think I'd happilly read shopping lists if you wrote them.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

My Jared always a little bit the sweetly pathetic stalker. :)

This was the fic where I was so stressed out about using the OC for the room-mate, so I'm happy his relationship to Jensen is interesting.

sigh. Jensen breaks so pretty. This is probably the least-happy backstory I've ever planned for a RPS character. I feel this weird guilty thing with it. The last twinge of RPS guilt, I guess. Maybe I'll get over it.

[cal-j-fielding.livejournal.com]

Well you definetely don't need to be stressed about the OC, I actually think that a known character/personality in this role probably wouldn't work as well, becuase then we'd have some preconcieved ideas about him and his relationship with Jensen, this way you have this interesting situation and we know nothing about it, it's really kind of cool.

Yeah, broken Jensen...sigh...

And the RPS guilt...I don't think it ever completely leaves...and I think that might be a good thing, I'm not sure why mind, but I do...as long as it's only a little bit of guilt and it doesn't stop you from writing the RPS.

[sephy1968.livejournal.com]

You don't know me, so...hi! *smiles and waves* I'm delurking to say that this is absolutely fascinating. You've written such an original Jensen, quite remarkable, really, and I love your Jared as well.

I realize that this may never be finished, but thank you for sharing what you did write, and here's hoping (fervently) that you'll be inspired at some point to return to this story.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Yay! Delurker! Nice to meet you.


I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that it wasn't more annoying than enjoyable. It's been sitting around like this since just after Christmas, so I figured it was time to get it out there in some form.

[sephy1968.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you...nice to meet you, too! Oh, and dang, it wasn't annoying in any way -- not at all.

I see from reading your comments that you feel this Jensen is too broken, but dude...there's no such thing as a "too broken" Jensen! By all means, keep breaking the boy. It's his fault for doing it so prettily. ;)

[skuf.livejournal.com]

*Sob*, why do I do this to myself? Still an excellent beginning, would love to see more. But I'd also take more one of your other PN RPS verses, so whatever, I'm good.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Dude, you totally did it to yourself.

Glad you enjoyed it. Might write a little more if the inspiration hits, but no promises.

Scar!verse's next chapter is almost done, but I think I need to go through and cut about 1000 words of blah out of it. Which is really discouraging.

Thanks for the encouragement though.

[skuf.livejournal.com]

Great, am just re-reading that :o) !

Well

[cattraine.livejournal.com]

I think its a very interesting story. I can tell that this Jensen has probably be either jumped or assaulted in his past and thats interesting. And yeah! Art students will do almost anything for a decent model! LOL And poor students will do almost anything for food. I hope to see more. Jared is gonna have to move slow and gentle if he wants to get anywhere---because face it--the guy is a giant and that can be intimidating in itself. Can see Jen warming up to that sheer sweet goofiness despite himself.

Re: Well

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this Jensen is almost too broken for me to write myself out of that corner. If that makes sense. He's got serious self-esteem/perception issues, almost into full-on social anxiety disorder.

[editorzon.livejournal.com]

I hope you'll be inspired to write more cause I'm very intrigued by what I've read so far. Thank you for sharing!

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it. I kinda feel like a fic-tease, but most that reviewed seem to not mind.

Only The Funny Live....

[evolardnek.livejournal.com]

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[embroiderama]

This is really lovely! I would, of course, love to see more, but I'm glad you posted it even if this is all there ever is.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it. I hadn't added anything since around early January, so I thought I'd dump the thing out into the world, see if it got my brain working again.

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

oh HEY. this is GORGEOUS. if you do write more, holy god, i hope you post it somewhere like a zillion times, cuz i'm forever getting lost in lj land and don't even know how in the FRICK i ended up here. this is ... gorgeous, i said already.

intriguing.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

don't even know how in the FRICK i ended up here.

The big damn spn rps AU list?

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It's still not flowing, though I may record the little trickles until I have something worth posting. I won't pimp it out until I'm sure it's going somewhere.

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

lol, it probably was that damned list. i friended you back! so, yay! *smooshes, but not to death like i did to that other lj-er*

lol.

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

That works. I usually have fic up here for a few days before I get around to pimping it out everywhere, anyway, so you get a head-start this way.

Yay! Smooshes.

Hello !!

[sauvageonne.livejournal.com]

Am already a fan of your scar verse. I remember that you wer e talking about this model story... Glad that you made it happen. I like this style, the different personnalities, the new aspects they show in this AU. I really hope that your muse will go on and on and on !!!

Re: Hello !!

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

This is so totally NOT the fic I wanted to read when I wanted a model-story. But it's working to write it, so I'm alright with it.

I wish somebody would write a laid-back sweet little fic about not-broken guys and paint and maybe fucking on a drop-cloth.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Garrett is one of the best OCs out there. I love that you gave Jensen an OC roomie, because it annoys me when the entire cast of Usual Suspects turns up in every single fic as pale shadows of themselves.

Be more desperate and grabby-handed, why don't you, Jared? lol

[ladyjanelly.livejournal.com]

I am re-reading htis (and maybe I know where to take the next bit now??) and I'm still happy with the OC. What I needed didn't fit one of the existing 'templates' of RPS friends that's out there, and to write a Chris who isn't protective/grumpy or whoever in a not-usual way would have been too much work in the wrong places. Like the reader would be expecting one thing, and if i didn't do that, I'd have to put too many words into breaking the stereotype for that name/face. Does that even make sense?

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

It makes perfect sense, and is exactly why I don't like having the crew turn up en masse, because you get grumpy!best friend Chris, well-meaning!douche Chad, puppy!Jared, (usually) bitchy!Jensen, etc etc. The tendency is to use these cookie cutter shorthand characterizations that are popular, instead of actually try to build them as interesting people, whether their real personalities (as far as we know them) are used or not.

Some OCs are obvious self-insertion, too, but Garrett's not, lol.